14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise

14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise Stacey Gustafson

I’ve got a million excuses why I cannot exercise but only 14 are actually legitimate. I wake up each day with good intentions but can’t seem to get off my butt and go to the gym. 14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise I cannot exercise after I’ve taken off my bra. By 7 PM, I’ve lost all motivation to leave the house. The bra is off and I’ve slipped into sweatpants. What’s the point of exercising now? I’d have to shower again. It’s a whole thing. I cannot exercise on Monday because it’s the start of the week. I have go grocery shopping, drop off laundry, pay bills, vacuum, check Facebook, read email and start dinner. I cannot exercise before 8:30 AM. I need to … [Read more...]

Open Letter to My Lawn Service Guys

Open Letter to My Lawn Service Guys Stacey Gustafson

Dear Three Men and a Mower, I’m the house on the corner of Parched St. and Desert Dr. Just wondering lawn service guys, why do you keep mowing our lawn? In case you haven’t noticed, California is experiencing its fourth year of a severe drought. Last year was devastating. This year’s been worse. Weather reports are actually tracking rainfall by the 1/100ths of an inch. Watch the news if you’re not familiar with the trickle of rainfall we’re getting. California Drought http://ca.gov/drought/ California’s been in a State of Emergency since January. Citizens have ripped out their lawns, junked inefficient toilets and filled in their pools. Neighbors rats out other … [Read more...]

Win Amazon #1 Best Seller Are You Kidding Me?

BUY MY BOOK Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives is available on Amazon and ebooks. It’s filled with stories you’ve never read on my blog, like the time I called SWAT on my neighbor or faked a heart attack in church. Hoping to make you laugh one story at a time. Get your copy now!! Click to purchase on Amazon.

Love humor? Here's a chance to win a FREE copy of my book, Amazon #1 Best Seller in Parenting & Family Humor, Are You Kidding Me? My Life With an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives. What are you waiting for? Click below to get started. Click Here For a Chance to Win Here's what Huffington Post Reviewer, Roz Warren, says: Roz Warren (www.rosalindwarren.com) writes for the New York Times, the Humor Times, the Huffington Post, Womens Voices For Change, and for countless other venues. Stacey Gustafson: An Erma for the Cell Phone Era When ARE YOU KIDDING ME?, a new collection of Stacey Gustafson's humor columns, turned up in the mail, I figured I'd … [Read more...]

6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer, Dentist Who Shot Cecil the Lion

6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer, Dentist Who Shot Cecil the Lion Stacey Gustafson

Walter Palmer, the American dentist who shot Cecil, is in hiding as outrage grows surrounding the death of this known local favorite African lion. As children and adults mourn the tragic loss of Cecil, the search continues for Walter. A White House petition has reached over 175,000 signatures requesting Walter Palmer to be extradited to Zimbabwe but where is he? 6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer Use AARP The best way to find someone is to enlist AARP’s help. Since my 50th birthday, I have been contacted 289 times to “Join Now.” According to their website, they have over 37,000,000 members. They know where everybody lives and it’s impossible to try and hide from … [Read more...]

Reasons Not to Watch the Bachelorette With Your Man

Reasons Not to Watch the Bachelorette with your man Stacey Gustafson

Last night, Kaitlyn Bristowe picked Shawn Booth as the winner of the ABC reality TV dating show, The Bachelorette. Monday night’s known around my household as Bachelorette/Bachelor Night, AKA Go Ask Your Father Night. I’ve watched the trashy, mindless, ridiculous show with my daughter since the beginning, almost 11 seasons. Then she had the nerve to move away to college. Since then, I’ve been “stuck” viewing the Bachelorette with my husband. This is probably his last season. I’ll tell you why. Reasons Not to Watch the Bachelorette With Your Man He’s too talkative My husband ignores the proper Bachelorette/Bachelor Viewing Protocol. You must be absolutely quiet the first 5 … [Read more...]