Barbeque Battle – Mom VS Man

Barbeque Battle - Mom VS Man Stacey GustafsonMy husband decided that the first day of summer was the perfect opportunity to teach to our teenage son the finer aspects of barbequing. I spied through the mini-blinds in amusement as they walked in unison to the silver behemoth in the backyard, the Grill Master 5000.

My man raised the lid with as much reverence as the scene from Indiana Jones when he uncovered the Ark of the Covenant. In a poof, brown, crushed leaves and nine month’s worth of dried bugs exploded out the top.

Step-by-Step BBQ Instructions

The Master and Teenage Apprentice spent the next thirty minutes with their heads deep within the confines of The Grill. Dad gestured with an 18-inch, professional-grade stainless steel spatula. Step-by-step he instructed our son on the proper way to cook meats like slabs of ribs, tri-tip, sausage and chicken. They smacked their lips as dreams of blackened beef, fowl and pork brought drool to their mouths.

The Master taught the teen the correct ways to flip the meat using chef’s tongs and a 2-pronged fork and proper basting techniques. “One and a Half Men” joked, shot basketball hoops, petted the dog, and lounged poolside with cool drinks. Together they waited. And stared. And waited. And waited.

Mom Prepares 29 Side Dishes

I, on the other hand, remained cloistered in the kitchen and prepared the rest of the meal. Side dishes spilled out of the scullery as fast as Chef Ramsay doled out insults. I stuffed deviled eggs, baked sweet potato fries, chopped, diced, and sliced vegetables, tossed a Caesar salad, buttered garlic bread, set the table, poured drinks and ran five loads of laundry.

Presentation of BBQ Meat

An hour later, like Simba’s presentation ceremony in the Lion King, my guys handed me a heaping platter of smoky, charred delights. “Here you go honey. Hope you enjoyed your night off from cooking,” he said, chest out and face beaming. “You’re welcome.”

Who does the grilling at your place? Share a funny story!

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