Old age creeps up on you. One day you’re hanging out with friends till 3 a.m. at a local bar and then bam, you’re falling asleep in front of the television after dinner. Do your friends say stupid stuff like, “Age is just a number,” and “Fifty is the new thirty.” If you’re losing hair where you want it and growing hair where you don’t, this one’s for you. https://youtu.be/vPFCn3itBFE Signs You’re Getting Older Tell every one to turn down the radio, television, computer, and headset. Can’t stop talking about the weather. You drive through McDonalds to get an ice cream cone for the dog. When your body hurts, it just keeps hurting. Get mad at the mailman. Complain … [Read more...]
Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s In College
January 24, 2016 By 6 Comments
Now that my youngest child is off to college, my friends asked, "What's the stuff mom won't miss when kid's in college?" You won't believe how much free time you will have. You may wonder how a grown kid (an adult, so he claimed) required so much time. And if you’re a mom with a kid or two in school, I bet you know the answer. There's just a lot of stuff Mom won't miss! Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s in College School Drop Off – I have two kids. That means I’ve dropped kids off at school for over 13 years, with a slight break when a kid turned 16. For God’s sake, administrators, get it together. Go out there with a sign and tell those parents to pull forward! Their lazy kids can walk a … [Read more...]
10 Things I Hate About France
October 28, 2015 By 11 Comments
Vacationing in France with our college kids was a chance of a lifetime but not without a few complaints. Granted, the museums are unmatched, cheese simply delicious and great wine is served everywhere, but still, I missed some things about America, especially my big, tall Starbucks to-go cup. Needless to say, I discovered at least “10 Things I Hate About France” and wanted to share it with you. Bathrooms – Public bathrooms in the City of Lights are as scarce as water in California. Men and women use the same bathroom and that’s yucky. I actually waited in line for a unisex stall when a man came in and unzipped his pants. And squat toilets? No think you! My thighs are not firm … [Read more...]
14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise
August 31, 2015 By 13 Comments
I’ve got a million excuses why I cannot exercise but only 14 are actually legitimate. I wake up each day with good intentions but can’t seem to get off my butt and go to the gym. 14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise I cannot exercise after I’ve taken off my bra. By 7 PM, I’ve lost all motivation to leave the house. The bra is off and I’ve slipped into sweatpants. What’s the point of exercising now? I’d have to shower again. It’s a whole thing. I cannot exercise on Monday because it’s the start of the week. I have go grocery shopping, drop off laundry, pay bills, vacuum, check Facebook, read email and start dinner. I cannot exercise before 8:30 AM. I need to eat breakfast each … [Read more...]
Open Letter to My Lawn Service Guys
August 16, 2015 By 8 Comments
Dear Three Men and a Mower, I’m the house on the corner of Parched St. and Desert Dr. Just wondering lawn service guys, why do you keep mowing our lawn? In case you haven’t noticed, California is experiencing its fourth year of a severe drought. Last year was devastating. This year’s been worse. Weather reports are actually tracking rainfall by the 1/100ths of an inch. Watch the news if you’re not familiar with the trickle of rainfall we’re getting. California Drought http://ca.gov/drought/ California’s been in a State of Emergency since January. Citizens have ripped out their lawns, junked inefficient toilets and filled in their pools. Neighbors rats out other neighbors using too … [Read more...]
6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer, Dentist Who Shot Cecil the Lion
August 3, 2015 By 9 Comments
Walter Palmer, the American dentist who shot Cecil, is in hiding as outrage grows surrounding the death of this known local favorite African lion. As children and adults mourn the tragic loss of Cecil, the search continues for Walter. A White House petition has reached over 175,000 signatures requesting Walter Palmer to be extradited to Zimbabwe but where is he? 6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer Use AARP The best way to find someone is to enlist AARP’s help. Since my 50th birthday, I have been contacted 289 times to “Join Now.” According to their website, they have over 37,000,000 members. They know where everybody lives and it’s impossible to try and hide from … [Read more...]
8 Ways Being a Woman Sucks (Listen Up Caitlyn Jenner)
June 5, 2015 By 8 Comments
Big news across the blogosphere this week, Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn Jenner. Does she have any idea that being a woman sucks? It’s a man’s world! Here’s my list of things Caitlyn Jenner has to look forward to now that she’s a woman. 8 Ways Being a Woman Sucks Belly Fat Losing weight after 50 is as impossible as wearing 6” stilettos without falling down. Did you know that women only need 1,300 calories daily after menopause to maintain their average weight? Hell, Cheesecake Factory’s fettuccini with chicken and sun-dried tomatoes has 1,390 calories. And that’s the lunch portion. There, you’re done eating for the day. Swallow that with a glass of water! And you’ll never lose … [Read more...]
Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool and Other Things Lifeguards Won’t Tell You
May 27, 2015 By 12 Comments
Warning! Before getting into the pool this summer, you must check out my Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool and Other Things Lifeguards Won’t Tell You. As the weather heats up, neighborhood public pools beckon us to leave the comfort of our homes and venture outdoor to take a cool dip. Swimming in the public pool may be considered one of America’s favorite pastimes, but for me, no thanks. My Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool will give you the extra ammunition you need when kids ask, “Can we go to the public pool?” Cold Sores Someone swimming near you always has an oozing, crusty cold sore. Or scabs on their arms. Heed all warning signs and head for the nearest … [Read more...]
AVAILABLE NOW!
Follow Us!