Millennials, you think you’re so funny. “How Long Would It Take To Microwave a 25-lb Turkey” prank rolled through Internet this week, tricking your parents, Baby Boomers and Generation Xers. We willingly fell into the trap. After all, we’re guilty of protecting our Millennials from having to do anything more difficult than set the table on Thanksgiving. For most, this would be their first time to attempt to cook the mother of all birds, the turkey. We never suspected their question was not genuine. According to Wikipedia, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennials Millennials, also known as Generation Y or Gen Y, are the generational demographic cohort following Generation X and … [Read more...]
Happy Halloween – Get Out The Map
October 26, 2018 By 2 Comments
Sometimes you meet a person and you just click. I knew within minutes that I was going to be friends with Regina Stoops, whether she liked it or not. Maybe it was because we had shared the same sense of humor or the fact that she was just plain fun to be around. That was over two years ago. Since then, we have raised money for charity through stand-up at venues throughout the East Bay, including Tommy T’s in Pleasanton and the Bankhead Arts Center in Livermore. Soon we discovered that we had similar goals too. She wanted to turn elements of her stand-up routines into a book. I wanted to give stand-up a shot, using my humorous short stories as material. Today I want to share her writing … [Read more...]
Bad Mom: A Downsizing Christmas Story
December 18, 2017 By 10 Comments
Throughout the years, I’ve watched my parents’ attempts at downsizing Christmas. Fifty-two years ago, my mother festooned a real tree with sixty pounds of ornaments, tinsel, and twinkling lights plus adorned the inside of our house with 49 nutcrackers, 19 Santas, 9 hand-knitted stockings, 18 electric candles and an endless assortment of gaudy trinkets that sparkled, glowed or danced. My father controlled the outside with enough Christmas paraphernalia to shut down the entire block’s power grid. He blanketed the front of our place with lights; bubbled, frosted, tiny and otherwise. He randomly covered it all, from gutters and porch rails to bushes and trees. Like a t-shirt canon at the … [Read more...]
11 Things I Think About At the Grocery Store During the Holidays
December 16, 2015 By 2 Comments
I bet you'd be appalled if you knew what things I think about at the grocery store during the holidays. My mind is going as fast as a teenage girl texting her BFF once I enter the supermarket. Here's a sneak peek at the things I think about at the grocery story during the holidays: 11 Things I Think About at the Grocery Store During the Holidays 1. Will I be arrested if I knock down that elderly lady in the deli line because she asks too many questions? My company arrives in ten minutes. 2. How many days until New Year’s Eve? Gluten Intolerant? 3. What hell do I serve guests that claim to be vegan, gluten intolerant, pescetarian, raw foodist, semi-vegetarian, lacto-vegetarian, … [Read more...]
11 Life Lessons Learned From Dad
June 17, 2015 By 2 Comments
In honor of Father’s Day, I wanted to share bits of advice my father’s offered to me for fifty years, occasionally on deaf ears. I call it Life Lessons Learned from Dad. He’s always been my biggest supporter and his love never waivers. His lessons helped me become the woman I am today. I’ve found myself passing these lessons on to my husband, friends and especially my children. Today I share it with you. 11 Life Lessons Learned From Dad Work for free Dad claimed that the best job he ever had was the one he worked for free. He sold tools most of his life. One day, he approached a customer about selling his tools at his store. The man appeared frazzled as he was moving … [Read more...]
What Does Mom Really Want For Mother’s Day – Nothing
May 6, 2015 By Leave a Comment
Mother’s Day was always big bust and I was too exhausted to endure it again. This year I came up with a brilliant idea. Two days before the big event, I prepared my answer to the question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” “Nothing,” I said. “Come on, we have to get you something. What do you want?” “Nothing. I want a day filled with nothing. No fighting. No laundry. No cooking. No TV,” I said. “You’re just saying that. You’d be mad if we don’t get you a gift.” “Nope. This is what I really want.” “No way. That’s too hard. Just let us get you a gift.” I Want Nothing for Mother's Day I stood my ground and reminded my family that I had been asking for nothing for … [Read more...]
How to Avoid a Paranormal New Year’s Eve
January 9, 2015 By 8 Comments
New Year's Eve Back in 2000, my husband and I attended our last big bash, The Millennial New Year’s Eve Party, a black tie event with sit down dinner and fireworks included. Since then, it’s been nothing but sitting around watching Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve television special. However, I can vicariously live through my 70 year-old mother’s experiences. She’s never one to miss a good party and lives it up each year in ways ranging from wonderful and near fatal to strange and surreal. Auto Vs. Beast Last year Mom and her fiancé grabbed a horse drawn carriage ride in downtown St. Louis to see the Christmas lights at midnight. Sounds like a romantic way to celebrate, right? … [Read more...]
Never Serious New Year’s Resolutions 2015
December 30, 2014 By 2 Comments
Every year I make funny resolutions I call the Never Serious New Year's Resolutions. But each January 1, most of us make an unrealistic list of resolutions that are difficult to keep. We vow to eat more vegetables, watch fat intake, work harder, sleep longer, spend more time with family and even quit smoking. But by February, most people slack off and give up, ashamed by a lack of will power. This year let's be serious. Why bother with New Year's resolutions again? Instead I made a list just to make you laugh. Laughter's good for your healthy and much easier to do than lose 20 pounds! Now go get your funny on!! Never Serious New Year's Resolutions Tweet more and spend less time with … [Read more...]
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