13 Reasons My Husband’s Cheaper Than the Dog

My husband munched on a carrot stick and glanced over at Stanley, our 9 year-old cock-a-chon. “Man, that dog has the life,” he said. “Look at him devouring that Pup-Peroni. How much do those treats cost anyway?” he said, raising his voice. “Ah, don’t worry about it. They’re not too expensive,” I said, causing a distraction by tossing him a Snickers bar. “And besides, he loves it.” https://youtu.be/v-FNOvU_wdQ Reasons My Husband's Cheaper Than the Dog My husband had a point. Once you added it all up, our dog’s grooming habits cost easily five times more than his. Heck, the dog’s tooth cleaning alone cost $350. Since my husband rarely went to the doctor, had no know allergies and trimmed … [Read more...]

10 Things I Hate About France

Vacationing in France with our college kids was a chance of a lifetime but not without a few complaints. Granted, the museums are unmatched, cheese simply delicious and great wine is served everywhere, but still, I missed some things about America, especially my big, tall Starbucks to-go cup. Needless to say, I discovered at least “10 Things I Hate About France” and wanted to share it with you. Bathrooms – Public bathrooms in the City of Lights are as scarce as water in California. Men and women use the same bathroom and that’s yucky. I actually waited in line for a unisex stall when a man came in and unzipped his pants. And squat toilets? No think you! My thighs are not firm … [Read more...]

10 Things I Love About France

Our family embarked on a late summer vacation before the kiddos went off to college. Paris and the surrounding countryside beckoned. We enjoyed relaxing over leisurely meals undisturbed by our iPhones and California lifestyle. I discovered at least “10 Things I Love About France” and wanted to share it with you. Coffee and Chocolate Croissants – The French serve the most scrumptious, simple breakfast. Try sipping on hot, slightly bitter coffee with buttery, warm chocolate croissants as you people watch at the crossroads of contemporary culture. It’s an exquisite experience. Clothes – The French definitely dress better. They keep it simple by wearing a neutral palette of gray, black, … [Read more...]

14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise

I’ve got a million excuses why I cannot exercise but only 14 are actually legitimate. I wake up each day with good intentions but can’t seem to get off my butt and go to the gym. 14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise I cannot exercise after I’ve taken off my bra. By 7 PM, I’ve lost all motivation to leave the house. The bra is off and I’ve slipped into sweatpants. What’s the point of exercising now? I’d have to shower again. It’s a whole thing. I cannot exercise on Monday because it’s the start of the week. I have go grocery shopping, drop off laundry, pay bills, vacuum, check Facebook, read email and start dinner. I cannot exercise before 8:30 AM. I need to eat breakfast each … [Read more...]

Open Letter to My Lawn Service Guys

Dear Three Men and a Mower, I’m the house on the corner of Parched St. and Desert Dr. Just wondering lawn service guys, why do you keep mowing our lawn? In case you haven’t noticed, California is experiencing its fourth year of a severe drought. Last year was devastating. This year’s been worse. Weather reports are actually tracking rainfall by the 1/100ths of an inch. Watch the news if you’re not familiar with the trickle of rainfall we’re getting. California Drought http://ca.gov/drought/ California’s been in a State of Emergency since January. Citizens have ripped out their lawns, junked inefficient toilets and filled in their pools. Neighbors rats out other neighbors using too … [Read more...]

Win Amazon #1 Best Seller Are You Kidding Me?

Love humor? Here's a chance to win a FREE copy of my book, Amazon #1 Best Seller in Parenting & Family Humor, Are You Kidding Me? My Life With an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives. What are you waiting for? Click below to get started. Click Here For a Chance to Win Here's what Huffington Post Reviewer, Roz Warren, says: Roz Warren (www.rosalindwarren.com) writes for the New York Times, the Humor Times, the Huffington Post, Womens Voices For Change, and for countless other venues. Stacey Gustafson: An Erma for the Cell Phone Era When ARE YOU KIDDING ME?, a new collection of Stacey Gustafson's humor columns, turned up in the mail, I figured I'd … [Read more...]

6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer, Dentist Who Shot Cecil the Lion

Walter Palmer, the American dentist who shot Cecil, is in hiding as outrage grows surrounding the death of this known local favorite African lion. As children and adults mourn the tragic loss of Cecil, the search continues for Walter. A White House petition has reached over 175,000 signatures requesting Walter Palmer to be extradited to Zimbabwe but where is he? 6 Ways to Find Walter Palmer Use AARP The best way to find someone is to enlist AARP’s help. Since my 50th birthday, I have been contacted 289 times to “Join Now.” According to their website, they have over 37,000,000 members. They know where everybody lives and it’s impossible to try and hide from … [Read more...]

Reasons Not to Watch the Bachelorette With Your Man

Last night, Kaitlyn Bristowe picked Shawn Booth as the winner of the ABC reality TV dating show, The Bachelorette. Monday night’s known around my household as Bachelorette/Bachelor Night, AKA Go Ask Your Father Night. I’ve watched the trashy, mindless, ridiculous show with my daughter since the beginning, almost 11 seasons. Then she had the nerve to move away to college. Since then, I’ve been “stuck” viewing the Bachelorette with my husband. This is probably his last season. I’ll tell you why. Reasons Not to Watch the Bachelorette With Your Man He’s too talkative My husband ignores the proper Bachelorette/Bachelor Viewing Protocol. You must be absolutely quiet the first 5 minutes of … [Read more...]