I’ve moved eight times in twenty-two years of marriage. That’s a grand total of 3,987 boxes to unpack, 50 pieces of battered furniture, 45 missing cartons, 15 damaged appliances, 2 wrecked cars, and one lost pet. I’m as unlucky as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. This time my house tried to kill me during the move. Let's Move! For our latest and hopefully final move, we found a perfect house only two miles away. This time our move would not be dictated by my husband’s job. “Let’s do this,” I said to my husband after viewing the ideal home at an open house. “It’s perfect.” Moving day swooped down on my household, as swift and predictable as daylight savings time. “Oh. My. … [Read more...]
Christmas Tree Taunts Us
December 18, 2012 By 6 Comments
Our artificial, odorless, eight-foot tall Christmas tree taunts us year after year. After a decade, assembling the three sections of the Rocky Mountain Pine is still as complicated as solving a Rubik’s Cube. I fantasize dragging it to the nearest dump and lighting it on fire. Man Vs. Christmas Tree “Time to put up the tree,” says my husband, grabbing the kids by the arm. “You want to help too?” he says, looking at me with squinty eyes. “Nah, I’ll just watch,” I say. I avert my eyes as my husband struggles with our tree like a wrestler performing an over the shoulder arm drag. Plunk. It hits the ground, green needles fall like dandruff. This year more of the hinged branches … [Read more...]
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