Looking for a summer beach read? Check out my latest book, Are You Still Kidding Me? , available for 99¢ Pre-Order. If you like Lisa Scottoline’s, I See Life Through Rosé-Colored Glasses, then I think you’ll love my latest book. Here’s what hilarious Wendy Liebman said, “I love Stacey Gustafson’s voice — her stories and how she shares them! She is entertaining, relevant and relatable, and her new book is for anyone who is a parent, child, spouse, or other.” — Wendy Liebman, stand-up comedian, semi-finalist on America’s Got Talent, Season 9, Taller on TV Click here for 99¢ Pre-Order Are You Still Kidding Me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5Kn1k_FQyg You can buy … [Read more...]
My Life’s Been Outsourced – Things I Can’t Do After 50
February 6, 2018 By 6 Comments
Over time, I realized things were changing, like my waistline and sleep cycle. In college, I could devour all the junk food I craved and then hangout with friends at a party until 4:00 am. No longer. Barely able to keep my eyes opened past ten, I take a Tums and call it a night. I contemplated my situation and realized that my life’s been outsourced. There’s a lot of things I can’t do after 50. Here’s my list in no particular order. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_PQoEABHlA See - Outsourced Somewhere between the ages 40 – 45, I lost the ability to see. Oh sure, I can see things in the distance, like a traffic light or a mother pushing her baby with a stroller, but it’s the close up … [Read more...]
Bad Mom: A Downsizing Christmas Story
December 18, 2017 By 10 Comments
Throughout the years, I’ve watched my parents’ attempts at downsizing Christmas. Fifty-two years ago, my mother festooned a real tree with sixty pounds of ornaments, tinsel, and twinkling lights plus adorned the inside of our house with 49 nutcrackers, 19 Santas, 9 hand-knitted stockings, 18 electric candles and an endless assortment of gaudy trinkets that sparkled, glowed or danced. My father controlled the outside with enough Christmas paraphernalia to shut down the entire block’s power grid. He blanketed the front of our place with lights; bubbled, frosted, tiny and otherwise. He randomly covered it all, from gutters and porch rails to bushes and trees. Like a t-shirt canon at the … [Read more...]
Funny Parenting Sayings Spotted on Magnets and Mugs
March 20, 2017 By 2 Comments
Need a boost of laughter? Check out these funny parenting sayings spotted on magnets and mugs. Even when kids crack your face, break your stuff and question your sanity, it's nice to know you're not alone. Don't forget to check out my favorite family sitcoms, The Middle and The Goldbergs. Parenting is mostly just being screamed at by a tiny idiot. The first rule of parenting: Never negotiate with terrorists. I child proofed by house but they still get in. If drinking on the front porch counts, then yes, call me outdoorsy. Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom? Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute. My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today … [Read more...]
Reasons Why We Love Dogs
January 17, 2017 By 2 Comments
Did you know why we really do love dogs as much as we love our children? It’s a scientific fact. According to sciencemag.org, “New research shows that when our canine pals stare into our eyes, they activate the same hormonal response that bonds us to human infants.” http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2015/04/how-dogs-stole-our-hearts Why We Love Dogs Move over Grumpy Cat, dog videos are starting to dominate the Internet. Who hasn’t noticed Bo the Pomeranian with over 17 million Facebook likes? Or Marnie, the Shih Tzu sporting a dangling tongue out of the corner of her mouth? This is why we love dogs! https://youtu.be/Hw1vTnUs8RQ Who doesn’t remember loving Lassie, Snoopy from Peanut’s … [Read more...]
More People You Hate on Facebook
November 4, 2016 By 6 Comments
Who are the people you hate on Facebook? Do they brag about their Pinterest conquests? Rally behind their favorite politician? Can’t stop talking about numero uno? Does this sound like you? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rcv8EQdh8A Most definitions below are from Urban Dictionary. What’s Urban Dictionary? According to Wikipedia, originally, Urban Dictionary was intended as a dictionary of slang, or cultural words or phrases, not typically found in standard dictionaries, but it is now used to define any word or phrase. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com Over Doer: People You Hate on Facebook Definition: The over doer is one who … [Read more...]
I Will Pimp Out My Vote At the Presidential Election
October 10, 2016 By 4 Comments
Listen up Hillary Clinton. And you too Donald Trump. Let me be perfectly clear. I’m not ashamed to admit, I will pimp out my vote at the presidential election. I realize that federal spending is out of control, jobs and economy are a major concern, national security, immigration and health care are big issues but what about the little things? To get my vote at the presidential election, you need to do something for me, Mr. or Mrs. Future President. Read on. Free Back Waxing Offer free waxing for men with excessive back hair. The government should pick up the tab. A law would prohibit men from exposing “back, shoulders, chest, ear or other body parts with an inordinate amount of hair.” … [Read more...]
Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s In College
January 24, 2016 By 6 Comments
Now that my youngest child is off to college, my friends asked, "What's the stuff mom won't miss when kid's in college?" You won't believe how much free time you will have. You may wonder how a grown kid (an adult, so he claimed) required so much time. And if you’re a mom with a kid or two in school, I bet you know the answer. There's just a lot of stuff Mom won't miss! Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s in College School Drop Off – I have two kids. That means I’ve dropped kids off at school for over 13 years, with a slight break when a kid turned 16. For God’s sake, administrators, get it together. Go out there with a sign and tell those parents to pull forward! Their lazy kids can walk a … [Read more...]
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