Mother’s Day was always big bust and I was too exhausted to endure it again. This year I came up with a brilliant idea. Two days before the big event, I prepared my answer to the question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” “Nothing,” I said. “Come on, we have to get you something. What do you want?” “Nothing. I want a day filled with nothing. No fighting. No laundry. No cooking. No TV,” I said. “You’re just saying that. You’d be mad if we don’t get you a gift.” “Nope. This is what I really want.” “No way. That’s too hard. Just let us get you a gift.” I Want Nothing for Mother's Day I stood my ground and reminded my family that I had been asking for nothing for … [Read more...]
I Want Sister Wives for Valentine’s Day
February 12, 2014 By 7 Comments
Sister Wives for Valentine's Day What do I want for Valentine’s Day? Sister Wives! If you’re like me, you need Sister Wives to help out around the house, relieve stress, do the shopping. I’m a big fan of Sister Wives, a reality show in its fourth season on TLC. It snuck up and shocked viewers despite the lack of bad language, sex and fighting. It’s about the Brown Family, Kody and his four wives: Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. They’re Fundamentalist Mormons: one husband, four wives and 17 children living in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Brown’s are fascinating http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/sister-wives/photos/brown-family-pictures.htm After watching for a year, I realized the perfect gift … [Read more...]
Mom’s Thanksgiving Day Plea
November 25, 2013 By 8 Comments
Happy Thanksgiving Day! By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee. I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?” Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.” I have decided to take the day off. I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga. Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already. I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke. Ha ha! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each and … [Read more...]
How Being Mom is Like the Department of Motor Vehicles – DMV
May 30, 2013 By 18 Comments
After taking my son to get his permit at the DMV, I said to myself, "Hey, this place feels like home." Everyone is always mad at you. “If you don’t have an appointment, you’re in the wrong line,” says the first person I meet at the DMV, his nostrils flaring. Returning home after grocery shopping, a wave of anger hits me in the face. “Did you remember the Pop-Tarts?” whines my son. “You don’t expect me to watch Castle on TV?” complains my hubby. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s lots of eye rolling. “Is this the line to renew your license?” I say. A huge arm points to the farthest corner of the DMV. “Read the signs, lady. It’s over there,” says … [Read more...]
Wasting Time? A Writer’s Diary Exposed
March 27, 2013 By 10 Comments
Why am I wasting so much time? I started a writer's diary in my quest for answers. Today 6:30 Repeat five times, “Today is the day I am going to work on my NOVEL.” 6:40 Brush teeth. Check email. Oh boy, 40 new messages. Delete 39. 6:50 Wake up son for school, start breakfast, tidy up kitchen, run a load of laundry, drive son to school. 8:00 Check Internet. Must know more about sinkhole in Florida that opened up and swallowed a man. 8:10 Phone rings. Mother shares weird neighbor story. Is it really possible to set house on fire by turning on hair dryer and washing machine at the same time? Doubtful. 8:30 Draft new blog, “101 Ways to Avoid Writing a … [Read more...]
Going Back to My Childhood Home
January 28, 2013 By 6 Comments
Nothing was more frustrating than going back to my childhood home and discovering that no matter how much I’ve changed, everything there remained the same. Floorboards creaked. Front door squeaked. Kitchen sink leaked. And my mother was not bothered in the least. Sleepover Gone Bad Traveling to the Midwest in the winter usually results in flight cancellations and delays. This trip was no different. Three schedule changes later, I arrived at my mother’s front door. She grabbed me by the shoulders and smothered me with hugs and kisses. After talking with her for hours, I needed to break away and get rid of the airplane grime. “I’m gonna take a fast shower,” I told my … [Read more...]
Part 2: More Crap My Mom Has Sent
November 7, 2012 By 2 Comments
Readers said, “You left me hanging with your last story,” and “Tell me more about the stuff from your mom.” Here’s a follow-up story to last week’s blog. One thing I know for certain, a mother never runs out of hankies, advice or impractical gifts, more crap. And my mother was no different. She visited me in California a few weeks after we unpacked from our move. Like a peregrine falcon, her eyes zoned in on the “To Be Identified Pile” in the corner of the kitchen counter. “What’s with all this junk?” she asked, picking up an item on the top. “Stuff you’ve sent me over the years,” I said, shaking my head. “No way. Never seen it before,” she said without emotion and moved … [Read more...]
Author Book Signing Event at Towne Center Books
November 7, 2012 By Leave a Comment
Nov. 13 at 7p.m. I am thrilled to be a contributor in a new book series, Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman. Towne Center Books is hosting the book-signing event on Tuesday, Nov. 13 at 7 p.m. My story “Hair Gone Wild” is one of the 64 stories found in the book. Dahlynn McKowen, NYMB Series Creator, and Mary Eileen Williams, founder/host of the popular blog and radio show Feisty Side of Fifty, will be there as well to answer questions. Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman is the first title in the series, with another 30-plus titles under development. Submit your stories for consideration! Guidelines can be found at www.PublishingSyndicate.com. Get published! For questions, … [Read more...]
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