House Tried to Kill Me During Move

January 12, 2013 By 13 Comments

I’ve moved eight times in twenty-two years of marriage.  That’s a grand total of 3,987 boxes to unpack, 50 pieces of battered furniture, 45 missing cartons, 15 damaged appliances, 2 wrecked cars, and one lost pet.   I’m as unlucky as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. This time my house tried to kill me during the move. Let's Move! For our latest and hopefully final move, we found a perfect house only two miles away.  This time our move would not be dictated by my husband’s job.  “Let’s do this,” I said to my husband after viewing the ideal home at an open house.  “It’s perfect.” Moving day swooped down on my household, as swift and predictable as daylight savings time.  “Oh.  My.  … [Read more...]

Crap My Mother Sends

November 1, 2012 By Leave a Comment

If you’re like me, when it comes to emptying boxes after a move, I’m a regular whirlwind.  To unpack crap means stuff everything into closets and drawers as swift as Apple develops a new iPhone.  But this time around, I regarded the boxes and thought to myself, “Why do I keep moving this junk around? What the hell is in these boxes anyway?” I tackled the kitchen boxes first.  As I unwrapped, it became clear that I have too much useless crap and made a pile called, “To Be Identified Later.” That evening, I reexamined the heap and realized that all the items had one thing in common, gifts from my mother over the last 22 years, since my wedding day. Congratulations!  You’ve just won a new … [Read more...]