Happy Thanksgiving Day! By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee. I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?” Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.” I have decided to take the day off. I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga. Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already. I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke. Ha ha! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each and … [Read more...]
Local Authors Book Signing Event at Bay Books
November 18, 2013 By 2 Comments
What happens when four funny East Bay gals hold a book signing event? A big crowd laughed their way through the evening on Thursday, November 14 at Bay Books in San Ramon. Stories, snacks and prizes galore! We each read excerpts from our stories in the latest Not Your Mother's Book...On Home Improvement and On Being a Parent. On Home Improvement Here's a little bit from my story, "He Who Kills Weeds." “If you’re interested in keeping this job you cannot speak to my husband,” I said to Francisco, the new lawn service guy. “If he asks you any questions, you must say, ‘No hablo ingles.’ Deal?” “No problem. But why?” he asked, scrunching his eyebrows. “Do you have a minute?” I … [Read more...]
Is There Life After Orthotics?
November 11, 2013 By Leave a Comment
In my forties, I could finally afford to purchase the expensive footwear I had always envied: classic Dior black pumps, Coach tennis shoes and jeweled strappy sandals. But nowadays, comfort overrules my desire to be a fashion plate and one pair of low-heeled pumps, white sneakers and flats gets me from church to the gym. Recently, when it was time to replace my favorite footwear, I called on Sandra, my shopping buddy. “Wanna go to the mall?” “Sure,” she said. “See you in fifteen.” Sandra waved me over as I entered Mega Mall and grabbed me in an embrace. Staring down at my worn out tennis shoes with scuffed soles and frayed laces, she said, “Finally decided to break down and invest … [Read more...]
Does Size Really Matter?
October 7, 2013 By 1 Comment
Does Size Really Matter? Did you ever notice that the number of years you’ve been married determines the size of your mattress? When my husband and I were newlyweds, we slept on a double bed, kissing and hugging the night away, wrapped in marital bliss. Over time I realized a double bed was a colossal mistake, like sleeping in a crib with a hairy gorrila. Buy a King After ten years, we progressed to a queen and then a California king, the mother of all beds. With the extra inches we thought we’d have more room to stretch and stake out personal space. “This bed is amazing,” said my hubby. “Can’t believe it took us so long to move up.” “I’ll finally get some rest,” I … [Read more...]
Warning! Don’t Dress Like a Mom
September 25, 2013 By 14 Comments
“Mom, it wouldn’t hurt for you to dress up a little before you drop us off at school,” says my 13-year-old daughter. Don't Dress Like a Mom And by “a little” she means stiletto heels, coiffed hair, and full makeup. Her fashion icon is a friend’s mother who has the audacity to be cool and put together by eight a.m. She wears trendy pumps, coordinated jewelry and designer sunglasses--a true fashion aficionado. Heck, I’m lucky to swing that on a long weekend. What kind of mother wears three-inch heels to walk the kids to school? Not to be excluded from the conversation, my 10-year-old son chimes in, “Seriously, Mom. It’s embarrassing. Try to look better.” Who's he kidding? Five … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Wedding By Planes, Trains & Automobiles
September 17, 2013 By 2 Comments
This article was contributed by Guest Blogger, Annette Langer. Planes My sister was getting married again, and I couldn’t wait to attend her wedding across country. My flight was delayed considerably, but we finally took off, and soon the flight attendant came by with the drink cart. I reached for the cranberry juice I’d ordered, our hands collided, and the overfull glass landed in my lap. After not so much as an apology, she offered me the nearby first class restroom to "tidy up," she said. (It was a shorter distance than leaving a cranberry trail all the way to the rear lavatory.) She handed me a towel to sit on, but since the middle seat was vacant, I convinced her to switch that … [Read more...]
How to Send Your Daughter Off to College
September 9, 2013 By 2 Comments
Sending my daughter to college for the first time was as confusing as the mysteries of the teenage mind. Ashley is our first-born and my husband and I had documented all her firsts: first steps, first words, first day of kindergarten, first car and now, first child to attend college. We recognized that everything we had done up to this point was practice. Throughout the summer, we shopped together for college essentials like toiletries, colorful bedding, laundry baskets, eating utensils, and power cords. She selected her college courses on-line and searched for a roommate through the school’s Facebook page. She was ready to begin a new adventure and had marked off the boxes on the … [Read more...]
I’m the Humor Columnist at Generation Fabulous
September 4, 2013 By 2 Comments
It's official! I'm the humor columnist at Generation Fabulous!! I'm excited to be part of a team of terrific women like Sharon Greenthal, Chloe Jeffreys, and Anne Parris. Read more about how they got started at http://generationfabulous.com/generation-fabulous/ I also want to introduce you to my four new friends, Shannon Bradley-Colleary, Pamela Lutrell, Jennifer Wagner, and Susan Williams.They each bring a different skill to Generation Fabulous, including information about sex, women's issues, food and technology. Introducing Five Columnists Stacey Gustafson is a freelance writer, artist, blogger and stay-at-home mother. Her humor column "Are You Kidding Me?" is based on her suburban … [Read more...]
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