As Christmas barreled towards me like a supernova, my armpits got as sweaty as the Shoe Bomber going through customs. My fear, receiving a present that I despised and having to fake my approval. Opening a gaily-wrapped box with yards of ribbon heightened my anxiety to Code Red. Last Christmas, my family watched with baited breath and I tried to camouflage my true feelings. “Oh, thanks. What is it?” I said. “It’s that thing you asked for,” said my son. I didn’t have a clue if this was something I had wanted as a gift. I understand that I’m difficult to buy for at birthdays and holidays. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry. I have bottles and bottles of perfume on my bureau … [Read more...]
Kapow! The Sound of Models Falling Down on the Catwalk!
December 5, 2012 By 5 Comments
I can’t help it. I enjoy watching models tumble on the catwalk. It makes me smile. After a Google search on “models falling” I discovered that 6,830,000 web sites agree with me. We can’t get enough. I think the biggest reason I’m tickled pink when models fall is due to the haughty way they launch themselves down the runway. It’s like they’re saying to the world, “Look at me, I’m tall and can walk in a straight line.” Congratulations, you strutted 28 feet! Take off those Jimmy Choo's And Gisele Bündchen, if you want our respect, take off those ridiculous Jimmy Choo’s! Don’t you care that a generation of under 20-somethings will have a lifetime of bunions, arthritis, … [Read more...]
A Thanksgiving Day Plea On Behalf of Mom
November 19, 2012 By 1 Comment
Happy Thanksgiving Day! By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee. I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?” Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.” I have decided to take the day off. I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga. Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already. I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke. Ha ha! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each … [Read more...]
Book Release of Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman
November 15, 2012 By 5 Comments
Thanks to my friends who came out to support me last night at Towne Center Books for the release of Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman. I answered questions regarding being a columnist for the Pleasanton Patch, “Are You Kidding Me?” Also, I had the opportunity to read my article, “Hair Gone Wild,” regarding my high school obsession with the Farrah Fawcett hair cut. Mary Eileen Williams from Lafayette had the crowd in stitches with her story “Stirred, Not Shaken” about her dressing-room experience realizing that being a sexy older woman is much better than being a teenager any day. Dahlynn McKowen, NYMB Series Creator, discussed the ways to become published in the books, with … [Read more...]
Hot Sicilian Causes Gallbladder Attack
November 15, 2012 By 4 Comments
My love for a hot Sicilian started off innocently enough. But one thing led to another and a one-night stand became the beginning of a passionate affair. What started as sweet desire ended in extraordinary pain. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how this happened to a happily married stay-at-home mom. Pursuing my dream of becoming a newspaper columnist, I sought an opportunity to see my name in print and signed up to be a cookbook critic. Pizza cookbooks drew me into their pages, tantalizing me with cheesy delights. Slinging pizza dough high in the air, Chef Emeril Lagasse had nothing over me. Homemade spicy marinara sauces simmered on the stovetop, crushed red pepper flakes … [Read more...]
Welcome to My Blog
September 17, 2012 By 1 Comment
I am a freelance writer, artist, blogger and stay-at-home mother. My humor column “Are You Kidding Me?” is based on my suburban family and everyday life. My short stories have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman, Travel, Parent and Home Improvement. My work appears in Generation Fabulous, ZestNow, Pleasanton Patch, corporate newsletters, and even a commencement speech. I live in California with my husband and two teenagers that provide me with an endless supply of inspiration. I write about parenting and daily frustrations like my dislike of laundry, the DMV, and being middle-aged. I hope to entertain you one story at a time. Go get your funny … [Read more...]
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