A Thanksgiving Day Plea On Behalf of Mom

Happy Thanksgiving Day!  By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee.  I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?”  Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.”  I have decided to take the day off. I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga.  Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already.  I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke.  Ha ha! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each … [Read more...]

Book Release of Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman

Thanks to my friends who came out to support me last night at Towne Center Books for the release of Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman.  I answered questions regarding being a columnist for the Pleasanton Patch, “Are You Kidding Me?” Also, I had the opportunity to read my article, “Hair Gone Wild,” regarding my high school obsession with the Farrah Fawcett hair cut.  Mary Eileen Williams from Lafayette had the crowd in stitches with her story “Stirred, Not Shaken” about her dressing-room experience realizing that being a sexy older woman is much better than being a teenager any day. Dahlynn McKowen, NYMB Series Creator, discussed the ways to become published in the books, with … [Read more...]

Hot Sicilian Causes Gallbladder Attack

My love for a hot Sicilian started off innocently enough.  But one thing led to another and a one-night stand became the beginning of a passionate affair.  What started as sweet desire ended in extraordinary pain.  I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how this happened to a happily married stay-at-home mom. Pursuing my dream of becoming a newspaper columnist, I sought an opportunity to see my name in print and signed up to be a cookbook critic.   Pizza cookbooks drew me into their pages, tantalizing me with cheesy delights. Slinging pizza dough high in the air, Chef Emeril Lagasse had nothing over me.  Homemade spicy marinara sauces simmered on the stovetop, crushed red pepper flakes … [Read more...]

Part 2: More Crap My Mom Has Sent

Readers said, “You left me hanging with your last story,” and “Tell me more about the stuff from your mom.” Here’s a follow-up story to last week’s blog. One thing I know for certain, a mother never runs out of hankies, advice or impractical gifts, more crap.  And my mother was no different.  She visited me in California a few weeks after we unpacked from our move.  Like a peregrine falcon, her eyes zoned in on the “To Be Identified Pile” in the corner of the kitchen counter. “What’s with all this junk?” she asked, picking up an item on the top. “Stuff you’ve sent me over the years,” I said, shaking my head. “No way.  Never seen it before,” she said without emotion and moved … [Read more...]

Author Book Signing Event at Towne Center Books

Nov. 13 at 7p.m. I am thrilled to be a contributor in a new book series, Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman. Towne Center Books is hosting the book-signing event on Tuesday, Nov. 13 at 7 p.m. My story “Hair Gone Wild” is one of the 64 stories found in the book.  Dahlynn McKowen, NYMB Series Creator, and Mary Eileen Williams, founder/host of the popular blog and radio show Feisty Side of Fifty, will be there as well to answer questions.  Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman is the first title in the series, with another 30-plus titles under development.  Submit your stories for consideration!  Guidelines can be found at www.PublishingSyndicate.com.  Get published!  For questions, … [Read more...]

Crap My Mother Sends

If you’re like me, when it comes to emptying boxes after a move, I’m a regular whirlwind.  To unpack crap means stuff everything into closets and drawers as swift as Apple develops a new iPhone.  But this time around, I regarded the boxes and thought to myself, “Why do I keep moving this junk around? What the hell is in these boxes anyway?” I tackled the kitchen boxes first.  As I unwrapped, it became clear that I have too much useless crap and made a pile called, “To Be Identified Later.” That evening, I reexamined the heap and realized that all the items had one thing in common, gifts from my mother over the last 22 years, since my wedding day. Congratulations!  You’ve just won a new … [Read more...]

Would It Kill Ya?

Whenever I say, “Would it kill ya?” it is usually followed by a bunch of yelling, whining and begging by my family. One morning, my daughter signaled she was ready to go to high school by tapping a pencil fifteen times on the counter, sighing, and gripping her cell phone tight enough to lose circulation. “Let’s go Mom,” she said, intent on finishing a text message.  “My friends are waiting.” I scanned the room for last minute messes and spied a half finished glass of orange juice, a crusty bowl of cereal and a crushed napkin near her placemat on the kitchen table. “Please pick up your mess,” I said, wiping the counter with a dishrag. My daughter remained perfectly motionless … [Read more...]

Welcome to My Blog

 I am a freelance writer, artist, blogger and stay-at-home mother. My humor column “Are You Kidding Me?” is based on my suburban family and everyday life. My short stories have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul and Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman, Travel, Parent and Home Improvement.  My work appears in Generation Fabulous, ZestNow, Pleasanton Patch, corporate newsletters, and even a commencement speech.  I live in California with my husband and two teenagers that provide me with an endless supply of inspiration. I write about parenting and daily frustrations like my dislike of laundry, the DMV, and being middle-aged. I hope to entertain you one story at a time. Go get your funny … [Read more...]