Blame it all on me. But in my defense, I didn’t anticipate that my family would fight for iced tea. First thing you need to know: my husband is a patient, reasonable man. He never gets mad over little things. “What’s for dinner?” he said, sniffing the air for a hint. “Leftovers,” I said as I turned on the microwave. “Fantastic.” And after the meal, he asked, “Do we still have some of that chocolate raspberry truffle cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory?” “Oops, the kids ate it.” “No problem.” But if anyone messes with his iced tea, beware, an all out war brewed to boiling proportions. There’s a little story behind how it all started. On my quest for a healthy … [Read more...]
10 Tips for Parents of College Freshman
July 7, 2014 By 9 Comments
Like six million other parents, my child heads off to college for the first time. She’s on her way to becoming an adult. Endless changes will bombard our kids from having a roommate for the first time to figuring out the magic behind time management. A few useful tips can aid in making the transition to college smooth and painless. However, your tears are guaranteed! Send care packages. Your kids really count on getting reminders from home. Don’t be stingy. Fill boxes with candy, cookies, letters, pictures, toiletries, and gift cards. Extra cash never hurt. This will help them feel more connected to home. Write a contract. Together set realistic academic and social goals with your … [Read more...]
Barbeque Battle – Mom VS Man
June 24, 2014 By Leave a Comment
My husband decided that the first day of summer was the perfect opportunity to teach to our teenage son the finer aspects of barbequing. I spied through the mini-blinds in amusement as they walked in unison to the silver behemoth in the backyard, the Grill Master 5000. My man raised the lid with as much reverence as the scene from Indiana Jones when he uncovered the Ark of the Covenant. In a poof, brown, crushed leaves and nine month's worth of dried bugs exploded out the top. Step-by-Step BBQ Instructions The Master and Teenage Apprentice spent the next thirty minutes with their heads deep within the confines of The Grill. Dad gestured with an 18-inch, professional-grade stainless … [Read more...]
Dying of Thirst During California Drought
June 18, 2014 By Leave a Comment
Hey California, it’s me, your lawn. Didn’t recognize me at first, did you? Now don’t hate me because I’ve turned a sickly shade of olive and my blades are brittle since the California drought. If you think I have it bad, take a look around. Oak Tree’s leaves have curled, Shrubby’s croaked and Birds of Paradise never had a chance. It’s just a matter of time before we’re all gone by summer’s end. California, when are you going to take some responsibility? My blood…err…chlorophyll is on your hands. Cut 25% During California Drought For the beautiful state of California, my homeowners sacrificed their lawn, fruit trees, vegetable garden, and vineyards when you asked parts of the state to cut … [Read more...]
Happy Father’s Day Mr. Duct Tape
June 10, 2014 By Leave a Comment
Happy Father's Day This story is dedicated to my dad, Mr. Duct Tape, in honor of Father's Day . Some of my fondest memories involved my father’s ingenious approach to fixing things with duct tape. He used it to stretch the lifespan of shoes, pants, appliances, automobiles, toys, tools, and furniture. I remember when he customized his old slippers with Duct Tape, extending their lifespan another decade. King of the Duct Tape My father visited from out-of-town when the kids were toddlers to offer support when my husband traveled. Before my husband left, he warned, “Don’t let your father fiddle with our stuff. He tries to fix it all with Super Glue and Duct Tape.” “Sure. I won't let him … [Read more...]
27 Funny Ways to Save Water During Drought
June 4, 2014 By 5 Comments
If you think your state has drought problems, try living in California. Our state has the #1 Biggest Water Shortage in the nation. This is our driest period in 150 years. It’s mandatory for residents to cut water usage by 25% in our town or there won’t be enough to go around by the end of summer. Here’s my list of Funny Ways to Save Water: Ways to Save Water in the Laundry Room Rewear, rewear, and rewear - Did you know that the two-thirds of the British people wear dirty clothes from the laundry basket? Mom’s New Rule: Wear it until it stinks. Then wear it again. Use perfume to cover up body odor - Sure you might smell like a French whorehouse but people will … [Read more...]
I Don’t Suck at Stand-Up Comedy Said Leighann Lord
May 28, 2014 By 14 Comments
Stand-Up Weeks before the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop, I signed up to do stand-up, beating out 40 other interested attendees. During the workshop weekend, I attended Stand-Up Comedy Boot Camp Session for performers only. I always wanted to try stand-up but wasn't comfortable being booed off the stage at my local Tommy T’s Comedy Club. This would be the perfect venue, a supportive group of 350 funny ladies (and a few gents). Yep, you read that right, 350 in the audience, including Bruce Ferber, Emmy- and Golden Globe-nominated comedy writer and producer whose credits include Bosom buddies, Growing Pains, Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, Coach, Home Improvement. Pressure on. Comedy Boot … [Read more...]
Foothill Falcon Lip Dub 2014
May 20, 2014 By 2 Comments
Foothill Falcon Lip Dub 2014 In phenomenal Glee style, the Foothill Falcons sing and dance across their campus in a grand display of school spirit. Blue and yellow banners deck the hallways and football stadium. Each kid flaunts his school colors by wearing team uniforms, crazy wigs, sweatbands, and silly costumes in this video. All teams are represented from wrestling, cheerleading to basketball. Clubs like band, Red Rhino and choir strut their stuff to the beat of the music. In his first year at Foothill High School, Principal Jason Krolikowski showed Pleasanton that he knows how to have fun and energize a school. He's the one wearing a yellow hat at the beginning of the video. Hey … [Read more...]
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