Most parents believe graduation is their last opportunity to impart good advice or words of wisdom to their graduate. This is the list I made for my daughter when she graduated based on what I believe leads to a happy life. Take some time after your child’s graduation to discuss the important stuff. Talk over this list and add ones that are relevant to your family. You might be surprised that “Solve world hunger” ranks higher on their list than “Play more video games.” Advice for High School Graduates Say thank you to waiters, waitresses, housekeepers, and hostesses. Always tip in cash at least 17%. Their job is demanding. You never know, that could be you. Laughter is the best … [Read more...]
What Women Really Want for Mother’s Day
May 8, 2014 By Leave a Comment
Mother’s Day was always big bust and I was too exhausted to endure it again. This year I came up with a brilliant idea. Two days before the big event, I prepared my answer to the question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” “Nothing,” I said. “Come on, we have to get you something. What do you want?” “Nothing. I want a day filled with nothing. No fighting. No laundry. No cooking. No TV,” I said. “You’re just saying that. You’d be mad if we don’t get you a gift.” “Nope. This is what I really want.” “No way. That’s too hard. Just let us get you a gift.” I stood my ground and reminded my family that I had been asking for nothing for years. I have suffered … [Read more...]
What Happens When Bad Grandma Babysits
May 6, 2014 By
Today I am featuring Elaine Ambrose and her story, "What Happens When Bad Grandma Babysits?" on "Are You Kidding Me?" She asked me to review her latest book, Midlife Cabernet: Life, Love & Laughter After Fifty. She's another funny gal I met at the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. Swing by her blog, Midlife Cabernet on ElaineAmbrose.com. Guest Blogger - Elaine Ambrose My two granddaughters, ages 6 and 4, came to play with me while their parents were out of town. The first ten minutes were splendid. No screaming, no urgent demands for gourmet food, and no poop on the dining table. Then all hell broke loose. Mr. Bill and the Waldorf doll opened the Crown Royal, the Potato Head cowboy … [Read more...]
Can You Sue Your Parents Like Rachel Canning?
April 30, 2014 By 12 Comments
Can you sue your parents if they throw you out of the house and refuse to pay for your private school? Even after you wouldn't follow their rules? That’s exactly what 18-year old New Jersey teenage girl, Rachel Canning, tried to do and the judge promptly ejected the case. “What’s next?” the judge asked. “Sue your parents for not buying you an Xbox?” New Jersey Teen Who Sued Parents for Financial Support Returns Home http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/03/12/new-jersey-teen-who-sued-parents-returns-home/ Back in the day, if you didn’t follow your parents’ rules, you would consider yourself lucky to run away without a severe beating. But attempt to sue? Give me a break. So this got me … [Read more...]
Who the Hell is Joyce Newman Scott?
April 21, 2014 By 29 Comments
Ever hate a person you’ve never even met? For me that was Joyce Ann Newman Scott. My plans to stay at the Marriott in Dayton, Ohio for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop last week fell apart. I was stuck at a Holiday Inn, 10 miles away, referred to by the attendees as the “Kids’ Table.” “Got to worm my way into the Marriot. It’s right across the street from all the action,” I thought to myself. I struck gold when I received this email. “Hi, my name is Terri. My friend said you are looking for a roommate. Still interested?” she asked. Bingo, my lucky day. Roommate Wanted: Must Not Snore “Sure,” I emailed. “As long as you don’t snore, grind your teeth or have night frights, it’s … [Read more...]
Erma Bombeck Stand-Up Comedy
April 7, 2014 By 2 Comments
I'm doing stand-up comedy at the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop this Saturday. I received an email from the conference that 18 of the 40 attendees were selected. I'm trying to get over the jitters as we speak. This year there are 350 attendees plus speakers. Back by popular demand, I decided my skit would be "To The Woman Who Fondled My Breast." I made a few revisions below. I will be doing three different voices: my own, my thoughts and the female technician. I hope I can keep it all straight. Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop on April 10-12, 2014* The Bombeck Workshop is the only one in the country devoted to both humor and human interest writing. Through the workshop, the University of … [Read more...]
April Fool’s Day Ain’t For Amateurs
March 27, 2014 By 1 Comment
One thing I know for certain, the key to a successful April Fool’s Day prank involves knowing your victims’ routine. Amateurs need not apply. Our friend, Scott, told my husband and me that his wife hit a deer on a country back road driving home from the work. We quizzed him for all the details in order to set the trap. Then we asked him to make sure Casey answered the phone the next day. The Prank “Mrs. S, this is Officer Smedley with the Fulton County Police,” said my husband over the telephone in his best impersonation of a southern accent. “I understand you hit a deer yesterday on U.S. Route 19 around 7:00 p.m.” “Um, yes,” said Casey, clearing her throat. She sounds as … [Read more...]
I’m Featured on Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop
March 25, 2014 By 2 Comments
It's a great privilege to be featured on Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop this week. In addition to showcasing different humorous authors, this site provides advice for writers, author interviews, markets and contests. One of my favorite sections is called, "Erma Says." “Do you know what depression is? It's sitting in your doctor's examination room. In a paper dress. On a cold table. And it's the high spot of your week.” (from "Dumpy Paper Dress--March 31, 1977," which appears in Forever Erma) Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop The Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop will be held at the University of Dayton on April 10-12. Guess who's going? That's right! I was one of the first 350 to snag a … [Read more...]
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