I am thrilled to be published in Written Across the Genres, a new anthology edited by Julaina Kleist-Corwin, local creative writing instructor. On February 25, contributing authors read from the anthology that includes works from published writers, adult students, and even a local rapper. Poetry, prose, and excerpts from longer works in a variety of genres were presented at Towne Center Books in Pleasanton. Endorsed by Barbara Santos, San Francisco Writers Conference Marketing Director, “Written Across the Genres is a great book to curl up with and, like any good anthology, it is filled with bite-sized gems your can read anywhere when you have a few quite moments.” Join in the fun … [Read more...]
How to Write Funny
February 18, 2014 By 10 Comments
So, you need a few tips on how to write funny? No one knows exactly what makes a person laugh but I do know a couple of writing tricks to guarantee a giggle. First, I hunt in books, newspapers and the Internet for curious words and clever phrases. Then, I use my collection to enrich my writing and keep it fresh. Here are a few examples of my word anthology: Onomatopoeia Pronounced (on-o-mat-o-pee-a): noun. The naming of a thing or action by a vocal imitation of the sound associated with it (as buzz, hiss) Remember the classic 1960s Batman and Robin TV show? The fight scenes were filled with delicious words like Zoink, Bam, Zap, Whammm and Krunch. Onomatopoeia will add a snap, crackle, … [Read more...]
I Want Sister Wives for Valentine’s Day
February 12, 2014 By 7 Comments
Sister Wives for Valentine's Day What do I want for Valentine’s Day? Sister Wives! If you’re like me, you need Sister Wives to help out around the house, relieve stress, do the shopping. I’m a big fan of Sister Wives, a reality show in its fourth season on TLC. It snuck up and shocked viewers despite the lack of bad language, sex and fighting. It’s about the Brown Family, Kody and his four wives: Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. They’re Fundamentalist Mormons: one husband, four wives and 17 children living in Las Vegas, Nevada. The Brown’s are fascinating http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/sister-wives/photos/brown-family-pictures.htm After watching for a year, I realized the perfect gift … [Read more...]
Here’s a Quick Way to Catch a Raccoon
February 6, 2014 By 8 Comments
To catch a raccoon became my mission. Each night, it ambushed our lawn, flattened leafy plants and ripped the grass to shreds. Chunks of sod rolled over. At this rate, we’d be down to topsoil and tree roots by the end of the month. I called Carl’s Critter Control and explained our problem. Help was on the way. The next day, he examined our yard and said, “Yep, you got raccoons. Best to kill what they eat. I’ll treat for grubs.” Raccoon Escargot What the heck do they eat? Turns out cream colored coiled grubs and beetles burrowed in our lawn, the raccoon’s version of escargot. He injected the lawn with chemicals to kill the meal. For about two weeks, the treatment worked and we … [Read more...]
Oops! Video Camera Catches Neighbor in Stolen PJs
January 30, 2014 By 8 Comments
Last week, I received the following alert from Crime Prevention Unit of the Pleasanton Police Department, “FW: Press Release - Residential Burglary Suspect Arrested.” I thought, “Hot damn. I better get busy.” You see, I’m the neighborhood block caption. The SWAT team has personally thanked me for my hard work. That’s another story. Stolen PJs Anyway, a local woman was arrested on suspicion of stealing furniture, tools, and electronics from her neighbor, including pajamas. Based on the newspaper photo, I had a sneaky feeling we had met. I sent out a group email to my friends with the information. Here’s a copy of our email exchange--- To: Friends: Wanted you to be … [Read more...]
Stuff Your Kids Will Never Understand
January 20, 2014 By 12 Comments
Here’s a list of stuff your kids will never understand or use like the Polaroid camera, fax machines or shopping at Blockbuster Video Store. As technology develops at a breakneck speed, our past is being erased. This list may not be as important as the invention of the Internet, cell phones or electric cars but it’s part of our generation and worth reflection. Albums Ten years ago, my husband cleaned the basement and discovered his old record collection. He even located the turntable. My five year old picked up an album and said, “Dad, that’s the biggest CD I’ve ever seen!” Bye-bye eight track tapes, VHS, and tape cassettes. Top 10 Most Valuable Records … [Read more...]
What I Know To Increase Blog Traffic – Part 2
January 13, 2014 By 2 Comments
Learn more about ways to increase your blog traffic up to 400%. The following techniques are suitable for the advanced blogger. PR Checker PR Checker – This site checks page rank of your website pages instantly. It’s simple to run. You just submit the URL of your website and click “Check PR” button. Best of all, it’s free! http://www.prchecker.info/check_page_rank.php Word Count Word Count – WordPress recommends 300 words maximum per blog. According to itechcode.com, “One of the most important concerns facing any blogger is SEO. All things being equal, Google tends to rank articles that hover around the 300-word mark higher than longer or shorter articles. For purposes of attracting the … [Read more...]
No Toilet Paper in the Ladies’ Room? Bring Your Own!
January 1, 2014 By 4 Comments
“What took you so long in the ladies' room? Anchorman 2 is about to start,” said my husband, flagging me towards theater five. Oh, he wants to know what took me so long? Can he handle the truth? “I’ll be right back. Gonna use the powder room. Wait here,” I said to my husband. I paused outside the bathroom door. Twenty women lined up like soldiers, purses holstered, feet tapping out an impatient beat. Memo to self, go before you leave home. Gals Go in Pairs For men who haven’t been paying attention, lines snake out the restroom, around the corner of the building, past the exit and through the parking lot. Gals go in pairs to have someone to wait it out with, like standing in line for … [Read more...]
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