Wine Tasting For Dummies – That’s All of Us!

What do we really know about wine tasting? Apparently nothing! Take it from four Wall StreetWine Tasting For Dummies – That’s All of Us! Stacey Gustafson businessmen who ordered a $2000 bottle of wine at swanky Balthazar in New York City and ended up drinking and bursting into joy over an $18 bottle.

The story goes on to say that a young couple next to them had ordered the $18 wine and were unknowingly served the more expensive bottle. Just deserts you might say? (You may think one who was punished got their ‘just desserts‘ based on how it sounds, but the correct spelling and has only one ‘s’ as in ‘just deserts.’)

Four Wall Street businessmen ordered a $2000 bottle of wineWine Tasting For Dummies – That’s All of Us! Stacey Gustafson

This got me thinking. Do any of us really understand wine? How do we do a proper wine tasting and develop our palate? It’s so confusing.

We like to impress our friends at restaurants when it’s our turn to order wine for the table. I think most of us just scan down the wine menu, settle on our price point, order, and hope for the best.

Is a $40 bottle better than Trader Joe’s Two-Buck Chuck (which now sells for $3.99) but not as good as a $200 bottle? How do we tell the difference?

I surveyed YouTube for answers.

Actual People Wine Tasting

We can’t help but giggle when Christina tries her best at wine tasting. She represents all of us. She says zingers like…

“Swirl it all. Look at the legs on that…and the arms”

“Reminds me of my first communion”

“I’m getting a hint of raspberry Lip Smackers.”

When she gargles wine, I nearly wet myself.

Movies with Wine Tasting

Remember Sideways? It’s a little known movie released in 2004 about two men reaching middle age with not much to show but disappointment embark on a week-long road trip through California’s wine country, just as one is about to take a trip down the aisle.

Let’s laugh our way through some of the dialogue in Sideways.

Miles Raymond: Let me show you how this is done. First thing, hold the glass up and examine the wine against the light. You’re looking for color and clarity. Just, get a sense of it. OK? Uhh, thick? Thin? Watery? Syrupy? OK? Alright. Now, tip it. What you’re doing here is checking for color density as it thins out towards the rim. Uhh, that’s gonna tell you how old it is, among other things. It’s usually more important with reds. OK? Now, stick your nose in it. Don’t be shy, really get your nose in there. Mmm… a little citrus… maybe some strawberry…

[smacks lips] 

Miles Raymond : … passion fruit…

[puts hand up to ear] 

Miles Raymond : … and, oh, there’s just like the faintest soupçon of like asparagus and just a flutter of a, like a, nutty Edam cheese…

Jack : Wow. Strawberries, yeah! Strawberries. Not the cheese…

Best line? When one guy asks the other after the wine tasting, “Are you chewing gum?”

Comedians Wine Tasting

My favorite wine tasting video features Michael McIntyre, comedian. Heres’s a sample of his hilarious one-liners.

“Everyone pretends to be experts. We all just take part in the weird lie that we’re all connoisseurs in wine.”

“At least 90% of us are not experts in the field of wine. But when we’re at restaurants we all play this bullshit production that we know about wine.”

“Nobody at the table knows anything about wine. The waiter himself knows nothing about wine. We know red color, we know white color, we know nothing else.”

“Yes, That’s Wine!” by Michael McIntyre

Added Bonus Wine Tasting for Real

Here’s How To Pick A Good Bottle Of Wine (Even If You Know Nothing About Wine)

Are You Still Kidding Me?

Are You Still Kidding Me? Available Pre-Order Stacey Gustafson
Want more? Are You Still Kidding Me? is available on Amazon in ebook and paperback. What are reviewers saying?

“I love Stacey Gustafson’s voice–her stories and how she shares them! She is entertaining, relevant and relatable, and her new book is for anyone who is a parent, child, spouse, or other.” – Wendy Liebman, stand-up comedian, semi-finalist on American’s Got Talent, Taller on TV 

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