Image courtesy of Supertrooper at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Vacationing in France with our college kids was a chance of a lifetime but not without a few complaints. Granted, the museums are unmatched, cheese simply delicious and great wine is served everywhere, but still, I missed some things about America, especially my big, tall Starbucks to-go cup. Needless to say, I discovered at least “10 Things I Hate About France” and wanted to share it with you.
Bathrooms – Public bathrooms in the City of Lights are as scarce as water in California. Men and women use the same bathroom and that’s yucky. I actually waited in line for a unisex stall when a man came in and unzipped his pants. And squat toilets? No think you! My thighs are not firm enough.
English – Museums in Paris often do not have English translations on the exhibit placards. It’s frustrating to see paragraph after paragraph of descriptions in French regarding the artwork then two measly words in English, “Oil Painting.” Come on France, I’m here to learn! Even my local grocery store pharmacy offers services in 25 languages, including Albanian and Haitian Creole.
Water – It’s impossible to order plain, ordinary water in restaurants. Waiters will push sparkling on you and ask “with or without carbonation.” They assume you want a bottle of water and will bully you into buying it lest you feel like a cheapskate. Tip: Ask for a carafe of water, which means tap water. That’s free.
More Things I Hate About France
Restaurants – French refuse to give you the check unless every bite of food is consumed. Waiters will not clear your plates until everyone at the table is finished eating. If you’re an on-the-go type, ready to explore Paris, it’s very irritating to wait for the waiter to determine if you’re ready to leave. Waiters walked by and remarked, “No, you’re not ready to leave. You haven’t finished your meal!”
Elevators – Be prepared to be confused upon entering an elevator. All elevators start on 0 floor. That’s right. Nothing begins on the first floor. The first floor is actually the second floor. Get it? Yeah, neither did I.
Beds – Over half the time, when we requested a queen or king bed, we received two twin beds pushed together, best case. Often, if you ask for something other than a twin, guess what? You still got a twin bed. That’s not okay on vacation.
Air conditioning – Seriously, people. No A/C? It’s hot in France, just like every place else in the summer. How about a ceiling fan? Paper fan? Something.
Meat – Warning! The French eat their meat quite rare. They consider a perfectly cooked steak to be rare-to-medium-rare. It is not possible to order a steak medium.
Smoking – People in France smoke a lot. Like chain smoke. And all ages. Parisians smoke through entire meals. Bite, chew, swallow, inhale. Outdoor cafes are especially loaded with smokers.
Coffee – If you order coffee in France, you’ll receive a dinky cups of…what’s this?…espresso. I need my coffee either Venti or Grande. If you ask for a little milk on the side, prepare for a strange look. Also, the French do not drink their coffee on the street. If you ask for coffee to-go, prepare to have your hands burned off. Coffee to-go is poured into flimsy plastic cups without cardboard coffee sleeves. Ouchie!
There, I said it, 10 Things I Hate About France. What about you? What do you hate about France?
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Unisex toilets?! Gross! I’ve always wanted to visit the City of Lights, couldn’t imagine the trip being anything but paradise! Thanks for the dose of reality with lots of humor thrown in. Rare steak?! Blech!
I witnessed men storming into the ladies’ room a few times. That’s a new one.
So funny! The coffee thing would drive me crazy! And the restaurant thing. But hopefully you had a good time and the free flowing wine helped.
Yes, we had a relaxing time. I could sit in the cafes forever just people watching and sipping on tiny cups of coffee.
Oh, too funny! Glad I’m not French! I hated the chain smoking and the rude waiters! Loved the hot cocoa and French bread for breakfast, tho! LOL! Pinned and tweeted!
I loved the yummy hot chocolate with a croissant. But I can do without the steak tartar.
Funny! The language thing is my favorite pet peeve too. That video along with your writing was hilarious.
I think I’d concur with your list. Another would be the cost of a beer on the Champs-Elysees – scandalous!
Everything on the Champs-Elysess is outrageous. We ate outside the Louvre. Talk about expensive but the view was incredible.
Two things I hate about the French language:
1) They use too many letters in their words—so many of which aren’t pronounced. It’s dangerous when one tries to drive through their traffic circles. I have to circle 304 times before I can decipher the name of the road I want to take.
2) They add a new dimension to the term “nasal twang.” It’s like talking through one’s nose at all times. What happens when you have a cold. No, I can’t even think about that.
But I do love their wine, medieval castles, Versailles, and the ethereal Notre Dame Cathedral.
I do like the concept of wine for breakfast. Glad to hear you watched the videos too. So much good stuff on YouTube. Mr. Bean is a classic.