11 Things I Think About At the Grocery Store During the Holidays

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I bet you’d be appalled if you knew what things I think about at the grocery store during the holidays. My mind is going as fast as a teenage girl texting her BFF once I enter the supermarket.

Here’s a sneak peek at the things I think about at the grocery story during the holidays:

11 Things I Think About at the Grocery Store During the Holidays

1. Will I be arrested if I knock down that elderly lady in the deli line because she asks too many questions? My company arrives in ten minutes.

2. How many days until New Year’s Eve?

Gluten Intolerant?

3. What hell do I serve guests that claim to be vegan, gluten intolerant, pescetarian, raw foodist, semi-vegetarian, lacto-vegetarian, ovo-vegetarian, low sugar or dairy-free? Here, have a carrot.

4. Where did I stash the good alcohol again?

5. Can I use the insanity plea when I get pulled over by the cops for driving 100 MPH from the grocery store?

6. Has anyone ever punched Santa in the face?

7. What’s the difference between a pork butt, pork loin, pork chops and rack of pork and do I care?

8. Why can’t I understand the self-check line? Too many rules. Okay, 10 items or less, scan first, drop item in bag, next item, blah, blah, blah. Forget about using a coupon or cash. Call for help.

Trader Joes to the Rescue

9. I’ll just go to Trader Joes and pretend I made it.

10. Hey mom with the whiny kids running around the aisles! You need to leave right now.

11. When are the holidays over?

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What do you think about at the grocery store during the holidays?