My husband munched on a carrot stick and glanced over at Stanley, our 9 year-old cock-a-chon. “Man, that dog has the life,” he said. “Look at him devouring that Pup-Peroni. How much do those treats cost anyway?” he said, raising his voice.
“Ah, don’t worry about it. They’re not too expensive,” I said, causing a distraction by tossing him a Snickers bar. “And besides, he loves it.”
Reasons My Husband’s Cheaper Than the Dog
My husband had a point. Once you added it all up, our dog’s grooming habits cost easily five times more than his. Heck, the dog’s tooth cleaning alone cost $350. Since my husband rarely went to the doctor, had no know allergies and trimmed his own nails, he was a real bargain in our household.
Yep, Man’s Best Friend can cost the average family a pretty penny. I encouraged my man to spend a little more at a professional hair salon instead of Great Clips and splurge on treats but who knew he would be the cheapest member of our family?
Read: Real men don’t cry—but they are exfoliating. Say hello to ‘mampering’
http://www.cnbc.com/2014/12/05/real-men-dont-cry-but-they-are-exfoliating.html
After my husband cooled down, I scratched his back and persuaded him to go for a walk to get his mind off of the dog’s expenses. “Good boy,” I said when he returned with a smile, “Feel better.” He shook his head and scooted off to den to watch Animal Planet. Let’s just hope he doesn’t decide to look into my expenses.
13 Reasons My Husband’s Cheaper Than the Dog
SERVICE HUSBAND DOG
Haircut $15 plus tip $60
Treats $2 Snickers bar $13 dental chews
Tooth Cleaning $100 after insurance $350
Annual Check-Up $50 after insurance $60
Shots Up-to-date $81
Flea/Heartgard Meds None $94
Allergy Medication No Known Allergies $30
Bath DIY $15
Nail Trim DIY $10
Overnight Stay Friend’s sofa $35
Toys TV remote $2 tennis ball
Dog Bed Hand-Me-Down $50
Obedience Lessons Priceless $30
Grand Total $167 $830
Do you have any funny stories to add? How much is Fido costing your family? This story was approved by my husband!
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This was so clever, Stacey…and true! My dog has been racking up some impressive totals at the vet–like $325 and $257. After they revived me, I pointed out to the entire office staff that my dog was unemployed (and honestly, he’s not actively looking for work), but they wouldn’t budge. I coughed it up and was a lot nicer to my husband that night when I served him his treat–a second hand (I’d already taken a bite) snack size Milky Way left over from Halloween. We can’t afford new now!
Maybe we should try harder to get our dog earning money, like a commercial or something. Until then, my reward is an understand bark and complete loyalty.
Isn’t it strange that the one member of the family who asks for nothing, gets so much? I’ll have to try that technique.
It’s a little unbalanced how much we spend on the family dog. However, he’s the only one who never complains.
Splurge on some really delicious chocolate for your husband!
Funny post! Love your quirky take on life.
Yep, dog is man’s best friend. He need treats. And my husband loves chocolate cake.
Oh! The haircuts! MY haircuts are cheaper than getting the dog groomed. 🙂
That seems so unfair.