Old age creeps up on you. One day you’re hanging out with friends till 3 a.m. at a local bar and then bam, you’re falling asleep in front of the television after dinner.

Do your friends say stupid stuff like, “Age is just a number,” and “Fifty is the new thirty.” If you’re losing hair where you want it and growing hair where you don’t, this one’s for you.

Signs You’re Getting Older

1. Tell every one to turn down the radio, television, computer, and headset.
2. Can’t stop talking about the weather.
3. You drive through McDonalds to get an ice cream cone for the dog.
4. When your body hurts, it just keeps hurting.
5. Get mad at the mailman.
6. Complain about the neighbors parking their car in front of your house.
7. Sound like your dad when you yawn.
8. Talk about your gallbladder to anyone who will give you eye contact.
9. Repeat yourself.
10. Don’t recognize anyone in People Magazine.
11. Most the names in your address book start with Doctor.
12. You actually own an address book.
13. Don’t answer the phone if it’s too far away.
14. Pets are your screen saver.
15. Still have a landline.
16. Put two spaces after a period.
17. Use a selfie stick in order for the selfie to be as far away as possible from your face as possible.
18. People don’t slam the door in your face.
19. Rather than learn new technology, you contemplate just riding it out.

20. No one calls you after 9 PM.
21. Use a magnifying mirror with a light to put on makeup.
22. Carry tissues in your purse.
23. Auto insurance is lower but health insurance is higher.
24. Own a 7-day pill organizer.
25. Call your parents every day to see if they’re alive.
26. You can go a week without taking pictures on your iPhone.
27. Font size on your iPhone is 22 point.
28. Enjoy talk radio.
29. Refuse to go out after you’ve taken your bra off.
30. Wear comfortable shoes.

Need another point of view?

5 Things I Enjoy About Getting Older