I understand that the NSA is monitoring my ingoing and outgoing phone calls and probably emails, text messages and Facebook account. As a taxpayer and citizen of the United States, I have a few questions for you, when you get a chance.
- Can you tell me who got in the last word during an argument between my mom and me? It occurred rough
ly on July 19 about 7:15 pm. We were having a disagreement over a black leather purse that I borrowed. She claims I never returned it. I’m positive she put it away and can’t find it. Who presented the most solid argument in this case? Please text me. - What is the name and phone number of the obscene caller from two weeks ago? The guy left a vulgar message something like, “You better be careful the next time you leave the house” followed by heavy breathing. I’m pretty sure it’s the neighbor guy I called the cops on because he left his dog outside barking between the hours of 1:00 am and 4:00 am.
- Who the heck is my son texting all day long? I’m only asking for a few names. This kid hardly has a thing to say at the dinner table but spends three hours a day texting. I’m really just curious. If you have a transcript of his phone calls as well, that would be a plus.
What’s the name and phone number of the dermatologist I called on Monday, July 29, regarding mole removal. I lost his number on a piece of scrap paper and have been searching ever since. His name started with a “D” or maybe it was the letter “K.” Sounded something like Dr. Davidson or Daniels. Please help a customer out by dropping me an email with this information.- Can you confirm that on July 30 you accidentally disconnected the phone call to my father? He claims I hung up on him but I’m pretty sure I was disconnected. I’ve got $5 riding on your answer.
Thanks NSA for your assistance. I’ll be in touch.
If you want to add a funny questions for the NSA, feel free to leave a comment!
Check out, “Internet Laughs About Being Spied On.” http://www.cnn.com/2013/06/07/tech/social-media/snooping-web-reaction Features hilarious tweets like the one below.
#NSACalledToTellMe to fix the virus on my computer so that it will stop infecting theirs.
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Love this, Stacey!
Great questions for the NSA. The answers are stupendously important. 🙂
Thanks for the laugh tonight! You are such an amazing writer. Keep up the great work.
Ha! We have a friend who visited us in Vegas. We took him to visit the Hoover Dam. Every time we passed a security guard, he’d say in a high voice, ‘Jihad!’ He is always doing things like that, but we’d roll over on him in a second, if push comes to shove. My nephew says he deliberately says things on his cell to push buttons. I won’t tell you what they are- I read an article a few years back about the Google glasses that record everything. The author said it did not help him when deciding who said what in the argument with his wife. She just got extra ticked because he had ‘I told you so’ powers.
I wrote about national security after a VERY long wait in a doctor’s office. You might get a kick out of it: http://chezgigi.com/in-the-event-of-a-terrorist-attack-pull-out-your-medical-files/
Probably not a wise idea to mess around with the security guards. Hate to be “accidentally” pushed at the Hoover Dam.
Exactly. He’s one of those people who gets away with a lot.