Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s In College

Now that my youngest child is off to college, my friends asked, “What’s the stuff mom won’t miss when kid’s in college?” You won’t believe how much free time you will have. You may wonder how a grown kid (an adult, so he claimed) required so much time. And if you’re a mom with a kid or two in school, I bet you know the answer. There’s just a lot of stuff Mom won’t miss!

Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s in College

School Drop Off – I have two kids. That means I’ve dropped kids off at school for over 13 years, with a slight break when a kid turned 16. For God’s sake, administrators, get it together. Go out there with a sign and tell those parents to pull forward! Their lazy kids can walk a few extra feet their classroom. Walking 12.5 feet has injured no one yet.

Lunches – I don’t need to pack schools lunches at 7:00 AM anymore. The tedious process of carefully preparing a particular lunchtime delicacy for my little angels was exhausting. Let’s see, did my son tell me he hated turkey this week or was it PB&J? Chips or pretzels? Juice or water? Enough already with the demands.

Emails – Endless emails no longer pepper my inbox. I’ve eliminated those pesky ones that begged for class donations, coaches’ gifts, school auctions, and teacher luncheons. One word: unsubscribe.


School Newsletter – Finally I found a way to make the high school newsletter stop, send your kids to college. I don’t miss the volunteer requests, ridiculous parking lot rules, and the office staff complaints. I don’t have to care about PSAT results or college prep classes.

“I have protective gear like helmets, mouth guards and athletic cups out the wazoo.”

Sport Equipment – We have enough used sports equipment to fuel a recreation center. My kids participated in everything from soccer and baseball to basketball and volleyball. Need a ball? I have protective gear like helmets, mouth guards and athletic cups out the wazoo.Stuff Mom Won’t Miss

More Stuff Mom Won’t Miss

Teacher Requests – What exactly does school supply? I’ve been nickled and dimed to death. Kleenex, printer paper, bean bags chairs, cleaning supplies, cough drops, dry erase markers, feminine products, clothes for the health room, tools, hand sanitizer, and sun screen, just to name a few. Want my old furniture? I’ve even donated a desk to a vice principal.

“A kale smoothie is not a snack!”

Snack Mom – Why must each teen sport require pre-approved snack bags with nutritious healthy snacks like string chees and frozen grapes? It’s only a matter of time before moms are expected to dole out kale smoothies, black bean chips and hardboiled eggs for the health food nuts. I say let the kids bring their own damn snacks. This has gone on far too long.

More Stuff Mom Won’t Miss

Fundraisers – No, I do not want another roll of wrapping paper, cookie dough, or coupon book. Why not just ask us for a donation? Then all the money would go to the school but I guess that’s too easy. And what’s with parents always running the school fundraisers anyway? How about getting the kids involved with car washes, garage sales or a pancake breakfast prepared by the youth? Need I say what we’re all thinking? It’s their school!

http://www.blisstree.com/2008/09/24/sex-relationships/10-reasons-i-hate-school-fundraisers/

Micromanaging Everything – Last, but not least, once your kids go to college, you get to STOP micromanaging them. No more giving a rat’s ass about grades and activities. Get good grades or not. It’s your life, kid. Enough said.

Now you’ve heard about the Stuff I Won’t Miss Since My Kid’s In College. What’s your stuff?

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Comments

  1. Rochelle finley says

    Great article filled with lots of laughs

  2. So funny and sadly true. I am still in the throws of high school and middle school emails. Some of the older teacher must know our eyes glaze over after the third paragraph… but there are some, bless their sweet hearts that write novels at least once a week. Congrats on graduating to college mom status!

    • staceygustafson says

      Your time will come. I remind my friends to be prepared. That some time to explore what you really like to do. Empty nesting’s pretty great.

  3. Fun piece! As a single working mom when mine was small, I didn’t have quite all the headaches, but can definitely relate to fundraisers and teacher requests. Oh and sports equipment. Kristen would sign up for a sport, nag me to buy all the gear, then drop out after the first practice. Thanks for the laughs.

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