Do men speak 7000 words per day and women use 20,000? Need proof? Check out my guy’s typical text messages. Let me set the mood. It’s around 6 p.m. on a Tuesday and I’m getting hungry. Texting “Are you coming home for dinner?” I texted, carefully spelling out each word with my thumbs. “Ya,” he texted back in a microsecond. “What do you want to eat?” “Anything.” “Okay, see you tonight.” “:)” See what I mean? Actual Words And when it came to using actual words in a live conversation, it was more of the same. But the moment I turned on a blender, dust buster, hair dryer or hand mixer, he became a human magpie. After breakfast, I asked, “What do you want to do … [Read more...]
Archives for February 2013
I Hate Brussels Sprouts
I hate Brussels sprouts. My aversion to “The Sprouts” goes back to elementary school days when my parents and grandparents insisted I follow the Clean Plate Club and eat every bite of food placed in front of me and that included Brussels sprouts. As a kid, I wasn’t considered a picky eater. I choked down chicken liver with onions, Vienna sausages, overcooked vegetables, tuna noodle casserole, fried bologna, and canned ham. I ate it all. But disgusting tiny, green, soggy, lettuce balls? Barf! Even the name alone irked me, “Brussels sprouts. “ What’s with the capital B and the extra ‘s’ at the end? No other vegetable gets the right to have a capital. It’s so uppity. For … [Read more...]
Grandparents Return Gifts, Even Plants
My grandparents return gifts, even plants. Their excuses for returning our gifts ranged from too large, too tight, wrong color, useless, costly, confusing or purchased under the wrong zodiac sign. All our presents had been returned for 40 years. It was good etiquette to accept a gift graciously but my grandparents were the exception. “Return it, dear. We don’t need it,” Grandmother said in her girlish voice. “Save your money. You keep it,” growled Grandpa, tugging up his baggy trousers. Each year, my mother continued to be disappointed and surprised by their insensitivity. “Mom, they do this every time,” I said. “They hate everything we give them. Stop buying them stuff. Give gift … [Read more...]
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