I can’t help it.  I enjoy watching models tumble on the catwalk.  It makes me smile.  After a Google search on “models falling” I discovered that 6,830,000 web sites agree with me.  We can’t get enough.

I think the biggest reason I’m tickled pink when models fall is due to the haughty way they launch themselves down the runway.  It’s like they’re saying to the world, “Look at me, I’m tall and can walk in a straight line.”

Congratulations, you strutted 28 feet!

Take off those Jimmy Choo’s

And Gisele Bündchen, if you want our respect, take off those ridiculous Jimmy Choo’s!  Don’t you care that a generation of under 20-somethings will have a lifetime of bunions, arthritis, tendonitis, chronic back pain, hammertoes, and sprained ankles by the time they turn 30?

No, I submit, she does not.

My fixation with models wiping out intensified after New York Fashion Week, the scene of the most spectacular catwalk falls of the year.  Outfitted with 9 inch stiletto heels and long flowing dresses, a couple of Skinny Ones fell not once, not twice but three times.  Bam.  Final count:  1 show, 44 near fatalities, 2,890 pairs of Prada heels.

But the best of the worst was when a fellow male model, wearing comfortable shoes, strolled right past a fallen body, runway roadkill, without extending a hand or a sideways glance.

Now that’s just wrong.          

So go ahead, admit it.  Because they’re good looking and confident, we cross our fingers, waiting for those delightful moments when they mess up.  We like to watch as models crash through the runway, slide off the stage, wobble off their shoes, and even splash into water.  It’s our secret pleasure.

“Marco.” “Polo.”