My Life’s Been Outsourced – Things I Can’t Do After 50

Over time, I realized things were changing, like my waistline and sleep cycle. In college, I could devour all the junk food I craved and then hangout with friends at a party until 4:00 am. No longer. Barely able to keep my eyes opened past ten, I take a Tums and call it a night. I contemplated my situation and realized that my life’s been outsourced. There’s a lot of things I can’t do after 50. Here’s my list in no particular order. See - Outsourced Somewhere between the ages 40 – 45, I lost the ability to see. Oh sure, I can see things in the distance, like a traffic light or a mother pushing her baby with a stroller, but it’s the close up … [Read more...]

Bad Mom: A Downsizing Christmas Story

Throughout the years, I’ve watched my parents’ attempts at downsizing Christmas. Fifty-two years ago, my mother festooned a real tree with sixty pounds of ornaments, tinsel, and twinkling lights plus adorned the inside of our house with 49 nutcrackers, 19 Santas, 9 hand-knitted stockings, 18 electric candles and an endless assortment of gaudy trinkets that sparkled, glowed or danced. My father controlled the outside with enough Christmas paraphernalia to shut down the entire block’s power grid. He blanketed the front of our place with lights; bubbled, frosted, tiny and otherwise. He randomly covered it all, from gutters and porch rails to bushes and trees. Like a t-shirt canon at the … [Read more...]

Tommy T’s Fundraiser for Sandra J. Wing Foundation

Laugh Out Loud for Rita Come enjoy a night of laughter to benefit Sandra J. Wing Healing Therapies at Tommy T’s Comedy Club in Pleasanton on October 24 at 5104 Hopyard Rd. Doors open at 6:30pm, show starts at 7:30pm. Tickets are $20.00 each or table of 8 for $120.00. Two item minimum purchase required. This fundraiser is in honor of Rita Da Costa, Sandra J. Wing Beneficiary, who passed away in 2015. Rita had a big, booming laugh and a constant smile on her face so what better way to celebrate her than to an evening of comedy. Comedians performing will be local funny ladies Regina Stoops, Stacey Gustafson, plus Mario Montes as MC. Their unique brand humor covers life in the suburbs … [Read more...]

Class Clown Versus Parent-Teacher Conference

Parent-teacher conferences are as unsettling as being attacked on a city street by a flock of geese overdosed on Ex-Lax. You hope you don’t get hit with something you weren’t expecting. When our son brought home a crumpled-up reminder note about his upcoming parent-teacher conference, my husband said to me, “Should we be concerned?” “Nah,” I said with a laugh. “We’ve got nothing to fear. Our little guy’s fun loving, smart, and inquisitive. He’s right on track.” I was certain his bubbly kindergarten teacher would load on the compliments with a flash of her professionally whitened teeth and say, “Your son is fabulous. A model student.” This will be a piece of cake. I prepared a … [Read more...]

Interviews with Stand Up Comedians

Last week I had an opportunity to do interviews with stand up comedians, Regina Stoops and Margaret Zhao. Both are veteran comedians who have been doing stand up comedy to the delight of audiences in California for over 20 years. I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to join them on stage at The Bothwell Arts Center for "One Night, Three Women, Too Funny" comedy night. And it's a fundraiser for the Bothwell Center too. One Night, Three Women, Too Funny! Bothwell Arts Center 2466 8th St. Livermore, CA Saturday, August 26, 2017 7:30pm  9:00pm Regina Stoops was born and raised in a … [Read more...]

Reverse Bucket List of 5 Things I Will Not Do Before I Die

What's a reverse bucket list? Well, everyone has a bucket list these days. It's a list of all the things you want to accomplish before you die. We’ve all made long lists with stuff like zipline in Hawaii, swim with dolphins, or whitewater rafting in Colorado. But what about the stuff you don’t ever want to do, the Reverse Bucket List? This list is the one you make after you’ve read all those other bucket lists and realized that you don’t need to jump off the highest mountain nor swim with man-eating beasts before you “kick the bucket.” This is my list of the 5 things I will not do before I die.     Reverse Bucket List - Perform on the Sway Pole … [Read more...]

Bachelorette Rachel – Contestants Raise Red Flags

The newest 2017 Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay debuts on ABC this Monday, May 22, and has 31 contestants to choose from. But her gentleman suitors raise more red flags than a Chinese military parade. Hey ABC, what happened to properly vetting these guys? According to ABC official website, here’s the bio for Bachelorette Rachel. Bio for Bachelorette Rachel Rachel, 32, obtained her under graduate degree at University of Texas at Austin, then went on to receive her law degree from Marquette University in Milwaukee. Driven and passionate about her career, Rachel quickly joined a prestigious law firm in Dallas after graduation. … [Read more...]

Funny Parenting Sayings Spotted on Magnets and Mugs

Need a boost of laughter? Check out these funny parenting sayings spotted on magnets and mugs. Even when kids crack your face, break your stuff and question your sanity, it's nice to know you're not alone. Don't forget to check out my favorite family sitcoms, The Middle and The Goldbergs. Parenting is mostly just being screamed at by a tiny idiot. The first rule of parenting: Never negotiate with terrorists. I child proofed by house but they still get in. If drinking on the front porch counts, then yes, call me outdoorsy. Who are these kids and why are they calling me mom? Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute. My swimsuit told me to go to the gym today … [Read more...]