I Will Pimp Out My Vote At the Presidential Election

Listen up Hillary Clinton. And you too Donald Trump. Let me be perfectly clear. I’m not ashamed to admit, I will pimp out my vote at the presidential election. I realize that federal spending is out of control, jobs and economy are a major concern, national security, immigration and health care are big issues but what about the little things? To get my vote at the presidential election, you need to do something for me, Mr. or Mrs. Future President. Read on. Free Back Waxing Offer free waxing for men with excessive back hair. The government should pick up the tab. A law would prohibit men from exposing “back, shoulders, chest, ear or other body parts with an inordinate amount of hair.” … [Read more...]

5 Types of People You Hate on Facebook

There are over 5 types of people you hate on Facebook. You know the type. From the lurker to the social justice warrior, people use Facebook for different reasons. Which one are you? Most definitions are found on Urban Dictionary. What's Urban Dictionary? According to Wikipedia, originally, Urban Dictionary was intended as a dictionary of slang, or cultural words or phrases, not typically found in standard dictionaries. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urban_Dictionary http://www.urbandictionary.com https://youtu.be/XeAvviC44OY   Lurker: People You Hate on Facebook Definition: A lurker is someone that follows the forum but doesn’t post. – Urban Dictionary Lurkers … [Read more...]

Why Blue Apron Stressed Me Out

This is what I know: my mother has a big heart, a great sense of humor and returns every single present she has ever received by rationalizing it’s too expensive, too extravagant or just too. But for the first time, I believed I found the perfect gift for my mom, one she would be hard pressed to return, free meals. Is it possible Blue Apron stressed me out? Sending Blue Apron to Mom I sent my mom Blue Apron, a popular meal kit delivery services. For several months, my husband and I used this delivery service with fantastic results. It provided fresh pre-portioned ingredients to your doorstep with the spices necessary to prepare homemade quality meals in 25 minutes or less. What’s not to … [Read more...]

30 Signs You’re Getting Older

Old age creeps up on you. One day you’re hanging out with friends till 3 a.m. at a local bar and then bam, you’re falling asleep in front of the television after dinner. Do your friends say stupid stuff like, “Age is just a number,” and “Fifty is the new thirty.” If you’re losing hair where you want it and growing hair where you don’t, this one’s for you. https://youtu.be/vPFCn3itBFE Signs You’re Getting Older Tell every one to turn down the radio, television, computer, and headset. Can’t stop talking about the weather. You drive through McDonalds to get an ice cream cone for the dog. When your body hurts, it just keeps hurting. Get mad at the mailman. Complain … [Read more...]

Tommy T’s Comedy Club June 8

Tommy T's Comedy Club Wed, June 8 Show starts 7:30 Doors open 6:30 Looking for something fun to do on Wednesday night? Join me and my friends at Tommy T's for laughs. Line up includes hilarious comics like David Naimyar, Priyanka Wali, Blake Jones and Raul Panya. I've got 10 minutes of fresh jokes about stuff like parents, husbands, teens and more. I need you to come out and support comedy in Pleasanton. Plus, it's a slow TV night! Bring your husband for a Couples Night, celebrate the end of school year or Girls Night Out. See you Wednesday.             https://youtu.be/7hyRz7vlpAA … [Read more...]

Somewhat Irrational Fears – Murder at Marriott

Some people have irrational fears, like fear of heights, spiders or public speaking. When it hits, survival instincts kick in and we go from calm to paranoid in a microsecond. My phobia was scelerophobia, fear of burglars, bad men or crime in general. This causes me to check and recheck hotel locks. Constantly being vigilant can be exhausting. Since I usually go out of town with my husband, I’m a bit of a novice when it comes to overnight travel, but one thing I understand perfectly is personal safety. My accommodations at the Marriott in Dayton, Ohio for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop had all the essential amenities, free shampoo, complementary breakfast and no husband or kids. Hotel … [Read more...]

Five Minutes As Stand-Up Comic

Do I have to come right out and say it? I’m a wannabe comic. I love everything about comedy from hilarious sitcoms like Black-ish and Modern Family to guaranteed-to-make-you-laugh authors like Nora Ephron and Dave Barry. But what I enjoy the most is stand-up comedy. I’ve always admired that stand-up comic who got in front of a crowd and told jokes, hecklers be damned! Stand-Up Comic Twenty-five years ago, I imagined myself on stage doing the opening act for one of my favorites, Tim Allen. We saw him perform in Atlanta before he appeared on the TV series, Home Improvement, and I wondered, “What’s it feel like having the full attention of an audience?” As a young, married couple, when our … [Read more...]

Quotes from Writers at Erma Bombeck Workshop

Dozens of award winning authors, playwrights, actors, entrepreneurs, agents, speakers and bloggers flooded into Dayton, Ohio for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, a workshop dedicated to humor and human interest writing. Each day, the workshop began at 9 a.m. and ended at 5 p.m., with lunch breaks featuring greats such as Amy Ephron, Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff. The fun didn’t end there. We were treated to keynote speakers during dinner such as Roy Blunt, Jr., Leighann Lord, and a one-woman staged reading of Erma Bombeck: At Wit’s End, starring Barbara Chisholm. Not trusting my own memory, I wrote down the quotes from  writers during the sessions. Alan Zweibel Original writer … [Read more...]