8 Things You Must Do If You Want A Sleepover At Your Place


If I’m having a sleepover at a friend’s house or staying at a relative’s place, I expect a few basic necessities. It’s got to be worth the $59 savings at Motel 8 or I’ll just crash there and risk bed bugs. Here are my 8 Things You Must Do If You Want A Sleepover At Your Place:

Sleepover Rules

  1. You must own a real mattress for guests. Not a futon, beanbag chair, lawn chair or sleeping bag.
  2. Your computer needs to be circa 2010. Internet connection must be in working order. You need to guarantee me that you know the password. I expect the printer to have more than one sheet of WHITE paper.
  3. You do not own a cat. Not that I have anything against a cat. I do not want cat hair on my toothbrush, chapped lips or hairbrush.
  4. Your shower must be in proper working order with hot and cold water. The knobs must function as they were intended to work. Left for hot and right for cold. No jimmying the handles necessary to get a STEADY flow of water.
  5. You and your family must not wake up before 6 a.m.
  6. You promise not to ask me more than 57 times “Are you OK?” or “Need anything else?”
  7.  You must have decent coffee in the morning. Don’t offer me crap that’s been stuck in the corner of your pantry for six years. Your coffee maker needs to have a pot larger than two-cups. I want hot coffee and I want lots of it.
  8. You must have a decent pillow, none of that cheap synthetic-filled pillow trash. I want something thicker than a saltine cracker. I will not use a pillow pet, decorative sofa pillow, a donut ring, sofa cushion or boyfriend pillow.

What do you expect when you sleepover at someone’s place? Leave a comment!

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  1. Gerald Kovac says

    Wish I could pass that on to the people I have to stay with on my journey’s for Food For The Poor. I especially need two pillows because that is what I am used too and a room that a hoarder has not filled with junk from trash cans and dumpsters. No dogs because everyone claims their dog is docile but I have yet to meet one that doesn’t nearly knock you down and sniff you out in places that should not be sniffed. Having a wine cabinet would be nice, as well.

    • staceygustafson says

      A hoarder house! Yuck! Another gripe I didn’t have room to mention, I would like to control the air/heat. My mom keeps it so hot, feel like I’m being cooked alive!

  2. Camille Thompson says

    An ample supply of toilet paper! I “visited” a gentleman friend back in my single days who had one square (not a roll – a SQUARE) of TP when I arrived! Unfortunately I was unaware of his limited supply until it was too late. Luckily I had a couple of crumpled Kleenex in my purse, which of course, he had to retrieve and hand me through the door! Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last…

    Great column! Handy tips for future sleepovers!

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