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Is your teen the master of exaggeration? Are all his responses one syllable like “okay,” “yeah” or “whatever”? Does he seem to speak in a foreign language? Congratulations you are the proud parents of a teenage boy! Here’s a list of down-to-earth tips with ways to get you through the next few years, 9 Survival Tips for Parents of Teenage Boys. Give it a shot! Might as well have a little fun while you’re at it.

Never Look Directly in the Eyes

Look to the right or left of the head, above the eyes, eyebrows or the forehead but whatever you do, never stare directly into the eyes. Like staring into the eye of Slytherin’s Basilisk in Harry Potter movies, eyes have the power to instantly kill anyone who looks into them.

Just leave him the hell alone and step off

Give your teen a little room and step off. Jack Black sang it best in School of Rock.

Understand Teen Speak

Use these resources and try to speak the same language.

Sick or wicked – cool

YOLO – You Only Live Once

Step off – walk away

Hater – someone who feels anger or jealously towards another person because of their success.

Legit – current and big

Grind – process of doing something difficult

Yaaasssssss – Yes but with more enthusiasm

Hashtag – Sarcastic way to exaggerate a point

“I know, right?”

“Just saying!” – used right after a teen says something rude

“Am I right, ladies?” – they just told it to you like it is

“I can’t even” – It’s a way to express teenage drama. “Ugh, I have basketball practice after school and have to study for AP math. I can’t even.”

http://parentingteens.about.com/od/talktoyourteen/a/teen-slang.htm http://www.creationtips.com/words.html

Do not run out of food

Teenage boys are like starving wolves. Did you know that between the ages of 14 to 18, teen boys need between 2,200 and 3,200 calories a day? Keep a loaded refrigerator and pantry at all times. Feed the beast.

Never ask, “How do you feel about that?”

It will always be met with a blank look and awkward silence.

Only ask a few questions per day

Revision, never ask a question about sex, school, girls, chores, teachers, money, friends, weather, social media or homework. Okay, never ever ask a single, solitary, measly question about anything. Period.

Don’t Take Insults Personally

Laugh it off. He’s dealing with his own crap and this bout of anger probably has nothing to do with you. And if you are a writer, take tons of notes. This stuff makes for great stories later.

Never try to follow on Social Media

Never try to friend them on Facebook, follow on Twitter, Snapchat or Instagram.

Be careful of dirty laundry

Proceed with caution when reaching into a huge pile of dirty laundry. Beware of used gym clothes disguised under clean clothes. Use tongs or rubber gloves. You’ve been warned.

Do you have any funny parenting tips for teenage boys? Please share!

Need more laughs?

Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives is available on Amazon and ebooks. It’s filled with stories about crazy families, holiday chaos, school disasters and more. Hoping to make you laugh one story at a time. Get your copy now!! Click to purchase on Amazon.