Bright Lights, Insults, Gel Manicures At Nail Salon

Stacey Gustafson, writerMy local nail salon is like a Turkish bazaar; people speak different languages, laughter, and loud voices surrounded by blaring music and bright lights.  Nail polish bottles, Post-it notes, glossy posters, and banners with price lists of various nail services cover all available wall space.  It’s a great place for an early morning wake-up call and a gel manicure.

Within moments of entering the salon, a man wearing a white mask rushed up and pushed me into the nearest vinyl chair.  A tiny lady with a pink apron approached and said, “Do you want a mani-pedi?”

“Ummm…I want a gel manicure,” I said picking at a fingernail.

“Go pick a color,” she said and thrusted me towards an endless rack of polishes, ranging from pale yellow to florescent pink.

After I made my selection, she examined my nails and said, “When did you have last manicure?”

“Not since my wedding day.”

“That figures,” she said as she snipped away at my ragged cuticles.Stacey Gustafson

She applied the polish as swift as my son finished his homework.  My hands glowed under florescent lights and dried in less than ten minutes.

“How long does a gel manicure last?” I asked the nail technician.

“Two weeks, maybe three,” she said in a flat voice.

“Do I use nail polish remover to take it off?”

“You’re a funny lady,” she said with a smirk.  “You come back to get polish off. We charge for special solution.”

What?  No one said any thing about having to come back!

I stood up and reached for my purse to pay.  She glanced down at my flip-flops and said, “Do you want a pedicure?”

“No thanks. I’m in a hurry.”

“How ‘bout  your eyebrows?” she said with an extended finger, pointing at my face.

Stacey Gustafson writer“No thanks.”

“Okay.  How ‘bout I do your mustache?”

“Uhhh…no.”

“You sure?  Your husband will like you better.”

Covering my face with my hand, I skedaddled out of there before she said I needed Botox or a Brazilian wax.

At home, my husband noticed my long manicured nails.  “Will you scratch my back?”

Check out this video on nail salons by comedian, Anjelah Johnson.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsWrY77o77o&feature=youtu.be

Do you have a funny experience at a nail salon to share?  Let’s swap stories.

About staceygustafson

Comments

  1. Hilarious! Been there, for sure! After finishing my eyebrow waxing, the woman asked if I wanted my upper lip done,too! Wha…?! Uh, no…thanks! My upper lip is just fine…uh…isn’t it?

    • You all are funny!! I’ve only been to a nail salon once and never went back. Having someone else do my nails is like that feeling you get when you hear nails on a chalkboard. I rather do my own even if they don’t look as good as having a professional do them.

      Yes, Stacey and Camille, your upper lips are just fine. LOL

  2. You “Nailed it” Stacey!
    At least in a “salon” they take you in the back for their waxing services. I can’t imagine sitting in the middle of the mall’s main walk ways, having your brows and lips threaded! Their “Cattle calls” are the worse. You know they picked you from the crowd for a reason!

  3. You’ve made me appreciate my manicurist. Maybe it’s time to increase her tip. And for a price, I’ll share her name and location.

    • staceygustafson says

      I cut the nails down the next day. After two weeks the polish is barely chipping. They will probably grow out within the year.

  4. Mary Ney says

    Love this, Stacey! My new nail salon is NOT this way. However, every other one that I’ve been to in the last 10 plus years has exactly been like this. You nailed it. So…did you scratch Mike’s back?

    • staceygustafson says

      Yep, and he loved it. Yesterday I went to get the gel polish off. 30 min later I decided to go polish free. Too much work.

  5. An impressive share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a co-worker
    who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him…
    lol. So let me reword this…. Thanks for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanks for spending time to discuss this subject here on your web page.

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