Never Serious New Year’s Resolutions 2015

Every year I make funny resolutions I call the Never Serious New Year’s Resolutions. But each January 1, most of us make an unrealistic list of resolutions that are difficult to keep. We vow to eat more vegetables, watch fat intake, work harder, not so serious new year's resolutions stacey gustafsonsleep longer, spend more time with family and even quit smoking. But by February, most people slack off and give up, ashamed by a lack of will power.

This year let’s be serious.  Why bother with New Year’s resolutions again? Instead I made a list just to make you laugh. Laughter’s good for your healthy and much easier to do than lose 20 pounds! Now go get your funny on!!

Never Serious New Year’s Resolutions

  1. Tweet more and spend less time with actual people.
  2. Join a gym that hands out breakfast treats to members, like donuts and chocolate milk.
  3. I will to interject, “It is what it is,” into every conversation. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=It+is+what+it+is
  4. Order Starbucks at the McDonald’s drive through.
  5. Hack into my kid’s social media and post a picture of myself dancing.
  6. I will stop goofing off when going through airport security. http://offgridsurvival.com/securitydfwairport/
  7. Bet my parents $1,000,000 they can’t send me an email attachment. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0Tq-LzMmKc
  8. Serve only vegetables to my family for a week.
  9. Stop stealing the toilet paper from the airplane bathroom.
  10. Confiscate the iPhone charger from my kids for fun just to watch them panic.
  11. Change my all website passwords to “password.”
  12. Vow to never, ever, ever again watch anything else with Keanu Reeves.
  13. Challenge the book club women to an arm wrestling match. Winner gets all my unread books.
  14. Sleep until 11 a.m. on Saturday like my teenagers. Then ask, “What’s for breakfast?”
  15. Speak in a French accent and tell people my name is Fifi.
  16. Use the self-checkout line at the grocery story without asking the cashier a single question.
  17. Find out why Kenye West always looks so angry. http://www.tmz.com/2014/02/12/kanye-west-so-angry-at-high-school-basketball-game/
  18. Take time to enjoy a Bloody Mary and figure out the secret behind the cocktail onion, carrot stick and celery stuffed on the side of the glass. http://www.demitris.com/bloody-mary-garnishes

Do you have any silly New Year’s Resolutions to add? Leave a comment and let’s share!.

Christmas at the Kiosk Causes Chaos Stacey GustafsonAre You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives is available on Amazon and ebooks. It’s filled with stories you’ve never read on my blog, like the time I called SWAT on my neighbor or faked a heart attack in church. Hoping to make you laugh one story at a time. Get your copy now!!
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Comments

  1. LOL! I love this idea and the resolutions you came up with – especially working “it is what it is” into every conversation. 😀 Hysterical! Thanks so much for sharing this fun list with us!

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