Dear Three Men and a Mower,
I’m the house on the corner of Parched St. and Desert Dr. Just wondering lawn service guys, why do you keep mowing our lawn? In case you haven’t noticed, California is experiencing its fourth year of a severe drought. Last year was devastating. This year’s been worse. Weather reports are actually tracking rainfall by the 1/100ths of an inch. Watch the news if you’re not familiar with the trickle of rainfall we’re getting.
California Drought
California’s been in a State of Emergency since January. Citizens have ripped out their lawns, junked inefficient toilets and filled in their pools. Neighbors rats out other neighbors using too much water. Even tattle-tale hotlines are set up to catch offenders. Out here in the West we call it Drought Shaming.
Give Me My Money Back
In addition, Three Men and a Mower, when I asked you to reduce our lawn service to twice a month rather than once a week, you acted surprised. Didn’t you notice the giant dirt clouds you were whirling up each time you cut the lawn? Or what about the fact that our yard’s brown and crispy rather than lush and green? Open your eyes!
You even had the audacity to charge me more each time you mowed the lawn when I cut down service to twice a month. Well, sir, to you I say, “Shame on you.” I should ask YOU for MY money back when your crew sat on their butt the last three months with nothing to do. It took more time to unload the mower and weed whacker than actually mow the lawn.
Come back next November when we have real grass to cut. But you better do a drive by first. I may have replaced the sod with artificial turf or resorted to green spray paint. Or moved back to the Midwest where water is free and plentiful.
Sadly,
I’m-So-Thirsty
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Really funny column! Seriously sorry for the water shortage, but laughter is always a good way to respond to tough times.
It’s hard to imagine a water shortage when you live in the Midwest and get flooding. Send it our way!
We’re going with nature over here. The lawn is out or dying and we have a landscape plan to implement come fall weather – all natives and drought-tolerant. I’ve wanted this for a long time, but had to wait until Himself got the courage to let go of his lawn. He’s in mourning, but I really think he’ll love the colors and textures of our new yard. We are trying to save the trees. They’ll continue to have drip irrigation and we’re working on a gray-water system to help them along. Right now, that involves carrying dish rinse water out to feed them.
It’s a sad state of affairs in California. We would used recycled water but don’t own a truck. Praying for your lawn!
I agree, Marlene, every time I pass a tree on my morning walk, I want to give it some water, but I can’t carry that much. I’m taking one less shower on days I’m home so I can keep our trees watered. Have you noticed how they are breaking off branches on their own? I guess it’s their way of conserving energy.
Stacey, as always, I love how you talk to the people in your posts. Another funny dialogue.
I value your opinion. I learned from the greatest teacher!
Love your blog! I can relate to the lawn problems, since I live in Florida and the sandy soil soaks up water like a sponge, making it hard to grow grass. Seriously contemplating Astroturf. 😉
Not sure what to do at this point. Drought resistant plants may be the solution. Hard to stop loving green grass. Stay cool!