Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool and Other Things Lifeguards Won’t Tell You

Warning! Before getting into the pool this summer, you must check out my Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool and Other Things Lifeguards Won’t Tell You.

As the weather heats up, neighborhood public pools beckon us to leave the comfort of our homes and venture outdoor to take a cool dip. Swimming in the public pool may be considered one of America’s favorite pastimes, but for me, no thanks. My Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool will give you the extra ammunition you need when kids ask, “Can we go to the public pool?”

Cold Sores

Someone swimming near you always has an oozing, crusty cold sore. Or scabs on their arms. Heed all warning signs and head for the nearest pool chair if you spot someone griping a tube of Carmex.

Poop

I’ve warned my kids to never touch anything on the side of a pool. One of their friends didn’t listen and I stared in wonder as she picked up a piece of poop on the side of the pool. “Poop” is in nearly 60 percent of the pools, with tests revealing 58 percent of the water samples were positive for the bacteria Escherichia coli, or E. coli. Need more reasons to stay out of the pool? Yuck!

Pee

One in 5 adults admit to peeing in a pool. What about the rest who won’t fess up? Yeesh! Even Michael Phelps confessed, “I think everybody pees in the pool,” Phelps told The Telegraph in 2012. “It’s kind of a normal thing to do for swimmers. When we’re in the water for two hours, we don’t really get out to pee. Chlorine kills it so it’s not bad.” Gross, enough already.

Embarrassing story: Pee Is Not for Pool

http://hahasforhoohas.com/stories/epic-embarassing-story-alert-pee-not-pool

Cold Water

In most parts of the country, pool water is just too cold, ask George Costanza about his “shrinkage.” The ideal pool temperature for adults is 85 to 89 degrees but most pools boast only 78 degrees, suitable for competitive swimming, not leisure enjoyment. Hey pool guy, it’s not the polar bear plunge.

 

Eye/ear infections

Chlorine doesn’t guarantee a germ-free environment. The most common type of eye infection resulting from swimming in contaminated water is called conjunctivitis or “pink eye.”

Obscene swimsuits

If a Brazilian wax is mandatory, wear it in your own backyard. I don’t want to see a monokini, mankini “Borat” style, mesh bikinis, dental floss bikinis, or speedos. These violate public decency laws.

Crowds

If you want to beat the crowd on a hot summer day, better show up early otherwise prepare to be squeezed between teens horsing around, screaming kids and crying babies. You’ll be lucky to find a pool chair without a fist fight.

Babies with diapers

No, your baby cannot wear a regular diaper in the pool. Diapers are a health hazard. Unpotty-trained children need their own splash zone far away from the regular pool. If your kid isn’t toilet trained, stay out of the pool. For me, it’s a matter of common sense.

Band-Aids/chewing gum/hair balls

Pool areas are filthy with old Band-Aids and chewing gum either floating in the pool or around it. Clumps of hair, no thank you.

#1 Reason to Stay Out of the Pool

Kids

The public pool is overrun with whole neighborhoods of unsupervised kids. Haggard moms discreetly hide behind the latest People Magazine and rely on the lifeguards to watch over their kiddos. Yeah, I’ll pass.

What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever experienced at the pool? Let’s share!

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Comments

  1. Oh, geez! I’m just on the way to the pool! I really wish I hadn’t read this. I go four or five days a week, and its the only way I can work out, anymore. I have back issues. On the bright side, I only actually swim now and then. I run with weights, and jump, and dance for an hour and a half, and splash water at the pigeons who are wearing thong bikinis, and looking uncomfortable. That’s why their heads bob up and down. They are trying to dislodge a wedgie.

  2. I was taking an aqua aerobics class for a while with many seniors in the pool. Not only was I worried about someone peeing or pooping in the pool but the high level of chlorine makes me sick. When my suit began to deteriorate after just a couple swims I decided to just stick to walking instead.

    • staceygustafson says

      Good call. I don’t think you can catch anything from walking. Maybe hit with bird poop but that’s it!

  3. Stacey, all the reasons you mentioned are exactly why I NEVER go to a pool, not even to sit on the edge and put my feet in. Glad to know I’m not the only one. Besides, I don’t like chlorine either.

  4. I’m safe! I can never go swimming because it’s never been at least 30 minutes since I’ve eaten.

  5. I love our community pool even more now. Its always 80 something degrees, has several 4’6″ lanes meant for swimming or jogging, and the kids are way the heck away in the middle part. Its nice and clean, and is filled with saltwater. Still seems to have plenty of chlorine though. I have to use good old Queen Helene Cocoa Butter on my skin, or I itch like crazy. Can’t give up the pool.

  6. I always thought it was gross when I was in the public pool and saw kids with snot bubbles in the water. After reading this, now I KNOW I am NEVER stepping foot in a public pool again, ha-ha!

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