27 Funny Ways to Save Water During Drought

  If you think your state has drought problems, try living in California. Our state has the #1 Biggest Water Shortage in the nation. This is our driest period in 150 years. It’s mandatory for residents to cut water usage by 25% in our town or there won’t be enough to go around by the end of summer. Here’s my list of Funny Ways to Save Water:   Ways to Save Water in the Laundry Room Rewear, rewear, and rewear - Did you know that the two-thirds of the British people wear dirty clothes from the laundry basket? Mom’s New Rule: Wear it until it stinks. Then wear it again. Use perfume to cover up body odor - Sure you might smell like a French whorehouse but people will … [Read more...]

I Don’t Suck at Stand-Up Comedy Said Leighann Lord

Stand-Up Weeks before the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop, I signed up to do stand-up, beating out 40 other interested attendees. During the workshop weekend, I attended Stand-Up Comedy Boot Camp Session for performers only. I always wanted to try stand-up but wasn't comfortable being booed off the stage at my local  Tommy T’s Comedy Club. This would be the perfect venue, a supportive group of 350 funny ladies (and a few gents). Yep, you read that right, 350 in the audience, including Bruce Ferber, Emmy- and Golden Globe-nominated comedy writer and producer whose credits include Bosom buddies, Growing Pains, Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, Coach, Home Improvement. Pressure on. Comedy Boot … [Read more...]

Foothill Falcon Lip Dub 2014

Foothill Falcon Lip Dub 2014 In phenomenal Glee style, the Foothill Falcons sing and dance across their campus in a grand display of school spirit. Blue and yellow banners deck the hallways and football stadium. Each kid flaunts his school colors by wearing team uniforms, crazy wigs, sweatbands, and silly costumes in this video. All teams are represented from wrestling, cheerleading to basketball. Clubs like band, Red Rhino and choir strut their stuff to the beat of the music. In his first year at Foothill High School, Principal Jason Krolikowski showed Pleasanton that he knows how to have fun and energize a school. He's the one wearing a yellow hat at the beginning of the video. Hey … [Read more...]

Top 11 Advice for High School Graduates

Most parents believe graduation is their last opportunity to impart good advice or words of wisdom to their graduate. This is the list I made for my daughter when she graduated based on what I believe leads to a happy life. Take some time after your child’s graduation to discuss the important stuff. Talk over this list and add ones that are relevant to your family. You might be surprised that “Solve world hunger” ranks higher on their list than “Play more video games.” Advice for High School Graduates Say thank you to waiters, waitresses, housekeepers, and hostesses. Always tip in cash at least 17%. Their job is demanding. You never know, that could be you. Laughter is the best … [Read more...]

What Women Really Want for Mother’s Day

  Mother’s Day was always big bust and I was too exhausted to endure it again. This year I came up with a brilliant idea. Two days before the big event, I prepared my answer to the question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” “Nothing,” I said. “Come on, we have to get you something. What do you want?” “Nothing. I want a day filled with nothing. No fighting. No laundry. No cooking. No TV,” I said. “You’re just saying that. You’d be mad if we don’t get you a gift.” “Nope. This is what I really want.” “No way. That’s too hard. Just let us get you a gift.” I stood my ground and reminded my family that I had been asking for nothing for years. I have suffered … [Read more...]

What Happens When Bad Grandma Babysits

Today I am featuring Elaine Ambrose and her story, "What Happens When Bad Grandma Babysits?" on "Are You Kidding Me?" She asked me to review her latest book, Midlife Cabernet: Life, Love & Laughter After Fifty. She's another funny gal I met at the Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop. Swing by her blog, Midlife Cabernet on ElaineAmbrose.com. Guest Blogger - Elaine Ambrose My two granddaughters, ages 6 and 4, came to play with me while their parents were out of town. The first ten minutes were splendid. No screaming, no urgent demands for gourmet food, and no poop on the dining table. Then all hell broke loose. Mr. Bill and the Waldorf doll opened the Crown Royal, the Potato Head cowboy … [Read more...]

Can You Sue Your Parents Like Rachel Canning?

Can you sue your parents if they throw you out of the house and refuse to pay for your private school? Even after you wouldn't follow their rules? That’s exactly what 18-year old New Jersey teenage girl, Rachel Canning, tried to do and the judge promptly ejected the case. “What’s next?” the judge asked. “Sue your parents for not buying you an Xbox?” New Jersey Teen Who Sued Parents for Financial Support Returns Home http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/03/12/new-jersey-teen-who-sued-parents-returns-home/ Back in the day, if you didn’t follow your parents’ rules, you would consider yourself lucky to run away without a severe beating. But attempt to sue? Give me a break. So this got me … [Read more...]

Who the Hell is Joyce Newman Scott?

Ever hate a person you’ve never even met? For me that was Joyce Ann Newman Scott. My plans to stay at the Marriott in Dayton, Ohio for the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop last week fell apart. I was stuck at a Holiday Inn, 10 miles away, referred to by the attendees as the “Kids’ Table.” “Got to worm my way into the Marriot. It’s right across the street from all the action,” I thought to myself. I struck gold when I received this email. “Hi, my name is Terri. My friend said you are looking for a roommate. Still interested?” she asked. Bingo, my lucky day. Roommate Wanted: Must Not Snore “Sure,” I emailed. “As long as you don’t snore, grind your teeth or have night frights, it’s … [Read more...]