Mom’s Thanksgiving Day Plea

Mom's thanksgiving day plea

Image courtesy of FrameAngel at FreeD

Happy Thanksgiving Day!  By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee.  I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?”  Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.”  I have decided to take the day off.

I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga.  Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already.  I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke.  Ha ha!

Now don’t get me wrong, I love each and every member of my family, including the various friends and relatives staying the night.  But I decided to take it upon myself to make this day more than a work-from-home day.  I deserve time off, same as the rest of you, a chance to relax near the warm fireplace, watch television, maybe read People Magazine.

Have you considered divvying up the work this year?  I’ll accept all offers to share in the responsibilities.  Feel free to do the grocery shopping.  Or maybe you could prepare the sausage stuffing, mash the sweet potatoes, or baste the turkey.  Do something for God’s sake.  And do not mention dietary restrictions.  If you need low calorie, vegetarian, gluten free or vegan meals, skip this holiday.

I’m sick of washing stacks of dishes as you fall into a turkey coma, saliva dripping from your slacken mouths.  Was that last slice of cranberry crumble pie too much?  Next time take a breather between bites.

Text me when you come up with a plan to relieve me from another weary holiday spent in the kitchen as the rest of you whoop it up in the living room, cheering for your favorite NFL team or laughing at the commercials.  For twenty-two years, I’ve watched from a distance and never known the final score of the football game.

I’ll be waiting to hear from you in the theatre.  But you better hurry.  The next movie caught my eye; Vince Vaughn is hilarious!

Love,

One Tired Mama

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Comments

  1. Funny. Loved it!

  2. Great piece! You deserve a break this year! Safeway pre-packaged meal, anyone?!

  3. Lani Longshore says

    Good for you! My mother spent days – yes, days! – cooking and baking for just the four of us on Thanksgiving. When my kids were tall enough to stir something, I let them choose the dishes they loved the most. That was their contribution to the meal. We bump into each other in our tiny kitchen, but everyone works so everyone can enjoy eating!

  4. Great idea! Did you steal it from me?

    We took the kids and grandkids to lunch the Sunday before Thanksgiving at my favorite place, Tommy O’s, where I enjoyed a calamari sandwich with brown rice and tomato/cucumber salad. My back didn’t hurt from standing on my feet all day on my concrete floor preparing a huge meal, and I got to eat at the same time as everyone else. I didn’t get overstuffed because there were no seconds . . . or thirds. I didn’t have to wash dishes and take out the garbage.

    Then, instead of having to find a place to land because all the couches were filled with napping family members, I had my own comfy seat at the theater where we watched “Catching Fire.”

    After the movie, we all went to my son’s house where we ate apple pie, the one food I prepared for Thanksgiving. And next year, maybe we will buy a pie at Costco.

    Ah, it was a great pre-Thanksgiving. And tomorrow, on the real Thanksgiving, I will offer my thanks for a quiet day at home and no sore back.

    • staceygustafson says

      The key to a successful holiday is celebrating with family, it doesn’t matter where or when. Glad your Sunday before Thanksgiving was special. Take a nap on the actual day and enjoy the quiet.

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