Summer’s here so get ready to book a cruise of a lifetime. But before you pack your suitcase, you may want to read this first. Actual complaints from real customers were posted on ConsumerAffairs.com and carnival-cruise-lines.pissedconsumer.com. The funniest cruise complaints were from cruises taken over the last year using Carnival Cruise Lines. I realize that there are complaints-a-plenty on other cruise lines too, like Norwegian, Disney, Celebrity, Seabourn, just to name a few. However, Carnival Cruise Lines had some of the worst reviews, and hence the funniest! Carnival Cruise Lines ain’t no love boat. What’s Consumer Affairs? ConsumerAffairs is a consumer news and advocacy … [Read more...]
Wait? What?! Semi-finalist in 2015 Kindle Book Awards
July 2, 2015 By 5 Comments
Best way to enter a writing contest? Submit your book and then forget about it! Months ago I entered Are You Kidding Me? My Life with an Extremely Loud Family, Bathroom Calamities, and Crazy Relatives in the 2015 Kindle Book Awards contest. Rules First, according to the judges,"We will initially read the “Look Inside” sample (90% of your score) and Amazon book description (10% of score). We’re looking for books with a compelling book description, but more importantly, books that “grab us from the beginning” and make us want to read more. The screening process is an indication of your potential buyers experience with your book, as subjective as that is. Book covers will only be judged to … [Read more...]
Tips to Make Screenplay into Movie – Authors Anonymous
June 24, 2015 By 5 Comments
I met David Congalton, Hollywood screenwriter and talk radio personality, at the monthly Tri-Valley Writers meeting. He shared his experience on "Tips to Make a Screenplay into Movie." His first feature screenplay, Authors Anonymous, staring Kaley Cuoco, is a hilarious and honest look at writers' critique groups. Authors Anonymous According to his handout, Authors Anonymous is about a weekly read-and-critique group of unpublished writers chasing literary dreams and supporting one another. Things become complicate when one member suddenly snags an agent, a book deal, and a movie deal, and a very famous admirer in quick succession. Grab a popcorn and snuggle up for a lighthearted evening … [Read more...]
11 Life Lessons Learned From Dad
June 17, 2015 By 2 Comments
In honor of Father’s Day, I wanted to share bits of advice my father’s offered to me for fifty years, occasionally on deaf ears. I call it Life Lessons Learned from Dad. He’s always been my biggest supporter and his love never waivers. His lessons helped me become the woman I am today. I’ve found myself passing these lessons on to my husband, friends and especially my children. Today I share it with you. 11 Life Lessons Learned From Dad Work for free Dad claimed that the best job he ever had was the one he worked for free. He sold tools most of his life. One day, he approached a customer about selling his tools at his store. The man appeared frazzled as he was moving … [Read more...]
8 Ways Being a Woman Sucks (Listen Up Caitlyn Jenner)
June 5, 2015 By 8 Comments
Big news across the blogosphere this week, Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn Jenner. Does she have any idea that being a woman sucks? It’s a man’s world! Here’s my list of things Caitlyn Jenner has to look forward to now that she’s a woman. 8 Ways Being a Woman Sucks Belly Fat Losing weight after 50 is as impossible as wearing 6” stilettos without falling down. Did you know that women only need 1,300 calories daily after menopause to maintain their average weight? Hell, Cheesecake Factory’s fettuccini with chicken and sun-dried tomatoes has 1,390 calories. And that’s the lunch portion. There, you’re done eating for the day. Swallow that with a glass of water! And you’ll never lose … [Read more...]
Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool and Other Things Lifeguards Won’t Tell You
May 27, 2015 By 12 Comments
Warning! Before getting into the pool this summer, you must check out my Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool and Other Things Lifeguards Won’t Tell You. As the weather heats up, neighborhood public pools beckon us to leave the comfort of our homes and venture outdoor to take a cool dip. Swimming in the public pool may be considered one of America’s favorite pastimes, but for me, no thanks. My Top 10 Reasons Not to Swim in the Public Pool will give you the extra ammunition you need when kids ask, “Can we go to the public pool?” Cold Sores Someone swimming near you always has an oozing, crusty cold sore. Or scabs on their arms. Heed all warning signs and head for the nearest … [Read more...]
What Does Mom Really Want For Mother’s Day – Nothing
May 6, 2015 By Leave a Comment
Mother’s Day was always big bust and I was too exhausted to endure it again. This year I came up with a brilliant idea. Two days before the big event, I prepared my answer to the question, “What do you want for Mother’s Day?” “Nothing,” I said. “Come on, we have to get you something. What do you want?” “Nothing. I want a day filled with nothing. No fighting. No laundry. No cooking. No TV,” I said. “You’re just saying that. You’d be mad if we don’t get you a gift.” “Nope. This is what I really want.” “No way. That’s too hard. Just let us get you a gift.” I Want Nothing for Mother's Day I stood my ground and reminded my family that I had been asking for nothing for … [Read more...]
Graduation Advice for My Daughter
April 29, 2015 By 4 Comments
Teachers, valedictorians and school administrators spoke at your high school graduation and offered advice like go to college, get a job, work hard, pursue your dreams, and travel. This is great for most graduates but just the tip of the iceberg. Since they did not ask me to speak at commencement, now I offer graduation advice for my daughter. It includes the little stuff that people often forget to mention that makes life meaningful. Dear Daughter, Congratulations! Today you have achieved a major milestone, graduation from high school. You’re moving onto a new chapter in your life, one filled with great adventure and the unknown. At times you may be scared and question all that you know … [Read more...]
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