8 Things You Must Do If You Want A Sleepover At Your Place

If I'm having a sleepover at a friend's house or staying at a relative's place, I expect a few basic necessities. It's got to be worth the $59 savings at Motel 8 or I'll just crash there and risk bed bugs. Here are my 8 Things You Must Do If You Want A Sleepover At Your Place: Sleepover Rules You must own a real mattress for guests. Not a futon, beanbag chair, lawn chair or sleeping bag. Your computer needs to be circa 2010. Internet connection must be in working order. You need to guarantee me that you know the password. I expect the printer to have more than one sheet of WHITE paper. You do not own a cat. Not that I have anything against a cat. I do not want cat hair on my … [Read more...]

College Interns Gone Wild Makes a Splash

Although these college interns may not be the “Interns Gone Wild” you usually hear about, there has been a lot of buzz about other interns. From the crafty FOX news kid who brought us Captain Sum Ting Wong and Wi Tu Lo to the interns suing companies like MSNBC and Saturday Night Live, college interns have been making quite a splash. These interns are doing the same by bringing something else to the table, a hilarious video that sheds new light on internships in general and theirs in particular. My daughter is one of the stars and with enough views, her team gets a $100 bonus! Watch it now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oht6F7-h4uQ   … [Read more...]

Charity and the Chump – Life Lessons for Teens

In an attempt to teach my fourteen-year-old son life lessons, in particular charity, I used every opportunity as a learning moment. He served meals at a food pantry in San Francisco, volunteered at Open Heart Kitchen and collected canned food for the needy. If there was a chance to help, he raised his hand. Life Lessons for Teens-Church Church needed volunteers at Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco, a community outreach program for those suffering from homelessness, hopelessness, poverty, and drug use. He worked side by side with other volunteers serving meals and packaging box lunches.  When he returned home, he relived his day with me and said, “We even ate lunch there. The … [Read more...]

5 Funny Questions for the National Security Agency (NSA)

I understand that the NSA is monitoring my ingoing and outgoing phone calls and probably emails, text messages and Facebook account. As a taxpayer and citizen of the United States, I have a few questions for you, when you get a chance. Can you tell me who got in the last word during an argument between my mom and me?  It occurred roughly on July 19 about 7:15 pm. We were having a disagreement over a black leather purse that I borrowed. She claims I never returned it. I’m positive she put it away and can’t find it. Who presented the most solid argument in this case? Please text me. What is the name and phone number of the obscene caller from two weeks ago? The guy left a vulgar … [Read more...]

How To Ask For More Napkins Without Getting Punched Out

Did ya ever notice that fast food places barely give you enough napkins to wipe off a pinkie after gorging on their messy fare.  Seriously.  It doesn’t take an expert to know that napkins go hand in hand with sloppy food.  Take my latest experience at a burger joint. “Can I take your order, please?” droned a pimply-faced teenage boy behind the counter. No Napkins at In-N-Out Burgers After receiving my food, I spread out all its greasy goodness:  burgers bulging with toppings, chili fries, drink, and condiments.  What’s that?  One napkin.  How can a diner survive with one napkin alone?  Oozing, dripping bounty was a hallmark at In-N-Out Burgers. I turned to catch a quick glimpse of my … [Read more...]

Walmart Shopper Banned, Husband Causes Mischief

Every once in awhile, I come across a gem of a story that is too precious to keep to myself.  Here’s a funny one about a Walmart shopper banned after husband gets into mischief.  You’re gonna love it! Walmart Shopper Banned After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Letter from Walmart Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart. Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this … [Read more...]

Master of the Grill Teaches Son Finer Aspects of BBQ

My husband decided that the first day of summer was the perfect opportunity to teach to our teenage son the finer aspects of barbequing. I spied through the mini-blinds in amusement as they walked in unison to the silver behemoth in the backyard, the Grill Master 5000. My man raised the lid with as much reverence as the scene from Indiana Jones when he uncovered the Ark of the Covenant. In a poof, brown, crushed leaves and nine month's worth of dried bugs exploded out the top. Step-by-Step BBQ Instructions The Master and Teenage Apprentice spent the next thirty minutes with their heads deep within the confines of The Grill. Dad gestured with an 18-inch, professional-grade stainless … [Read more...]

Pleasanton Authors at Towne Center Books 6/26 7-8 PM

Celebrate Local Authors Event Please join me at Towne Center Books in downtown Pleasanton on Wednesday, June 26 at 7- 8 PM. Spend the evening with our local authors. They will sign books and chat about their literary experiences. We will have delicious refreshments, and fascinating conversations. Authors Stacey Gustafson, Shelley Riley, Helene Wecker and Washington Osiro will be here to celebrate! More about the authors Stacey Gustafson will discuss Not Your Mother's Book...On Travel.  She is going explain the publishing process for this exciting new series and offer a few tricks to increase your odds of being published with Publishing Syndicate. Stacey Gustafson has a humor … [Read more...]