Charity and the Chump – Life Lessons for Teens

In an attempt to teach my fourteen-year-old son life lessons, in particular charity, I used every opportunity as a learning moment. He served meals at a food pantry in San Francisco, volunteered at Open Heart Kitchen and collected canned food for the needy. If there was a chance to help, he raised his hand. Life Lessons for Teens-Church Church needed volunteers at Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco, a community outreach program for those suffering from homelessness, hopelessness, poverty, and drug use. He worked side by side with other volunteers serving meals and packaging box lunches.  When he returned home, he relived his day with me and said, “We even ate lunch there. The … [Read more...]

5 Funny Questions for the National Security Agency (NSA)

I understand that the NSA is monitoring my ingoing and outgoing phone calls and probably emails, text messages and Facebook account. As a taxpayer and citizen of the United States, I have a few questions for you, when you get a chance. Can you tell me who got in the last word during an argument between my mom and me?  It occurred roughly on July 19 about 7:15 pm. We were having a disagreement over a black leather purse that I borrowed. She claims I never returned it. I’m positive she put it away and can’t find it. Who presented the most solid argument in this case? Please text me. What is the name and phone number of the obscene caller from two weeks ago? The guy left a vulgar … [Read more...]

How To Ask For More Napkins Without Getting Punched Out

Did ya ever notice that fast food places barely give you enough napkins to wipe off a pinkie after gorging on their messy fare.  Seriously.  It doesn’t take an expert to know that napkins go hand in hand with sloppy food.  Take my latest experience at a burger joint. “Can I take your order, please?” droned a pimply-faced teenage boy behind the counter. No Napkins at In-N-Out Burgers After receiving my food, I spread out all its greasy goodness:  burgers bulging with toppings, chili fries, drink, and condiments.  What’s that?  One napkin.  How can a diner survive with one napkin alone?  Oozing, dripping bounty was a hallmark at In-N-Out Burgers. I turned to catch a quick glimpse of my … [Read more...]

Walmart Shopper Banned, Husband Causes Mischief

Every once in awhile, I come across a gem of a story that is too precious to keep to myself.  Here’s a funny one about a Walmart shopper banned after husband gets into mischief.  You’re gonna love it! Walmart Shopper Banned After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Letter from Walmart Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart. Dear Mrs. Woolf, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this … [Read more...]

Master of the Grill Teaches Son Finer Aspects of BBQ

My husband decided that the first day of summer was the perfect opportunity to teach to our teenage son the finer aspects of barbequing. I spied through the mini-blinds in amusement as they walked in unison to the silver behemoth in the backyard, the Grill Master 5000. My man raised the lid with as much reverence as the scene from Indiana Jones when he uncovered the Ark of the Covenant. In a poof, brown, crushed leaves and nine month's worth of dried bugs exploded out the top. Step-by-Step BBQ Instructions The Master and Teenage Apprentice spent the next thirty minutes with their heads deep within the confines of The Grill. Dad gestured with an 18-inch, professional-grade stainless … [Read more...]

Pleasanton Authors at Towne Center Books 6/26 7-8 PM

Celebrate Local Authors Event Please join me at Towne Center Books in downtown Pleasanton on Wednesday, June 26 at 7- 8 PM. Spend the evening with our local authors. They will sign books and chat about their literary experiences. We will have delicious refreshments, and fascinating conversations. Authors Stacey Gustafson, Shelley Riley, Helene Wecker and Washington Osiro will be here to celebrate! More about the authors Stacey Gustafson will discuss Not Your Mother's Book...On Travel.  She is going explain the publishing process for this exciting new series and offer a few tricks to increase your odds of being published with Publishing Syndicate. Stacey Gustafson has a humor … [Read more...]

Don’t Forget the Duct Tape – Dad’s Guide to Fixing Things

In honor of dads everywhere, I’m dedicating this article to duct tape, the frugal man’s best friend. Some of my fondest memories involved my father’s ingenious approach to fixing things with duct tape. He used it to stretch the lifespan of shoes, pants, appliances, automobiles, toys, tools, and furniture. I remember when he customized his old slippers with Duct Tape, extending their lifespan another decade. King of the Duct Tape My father visited from out-of-town when the kids were toddlers to offer support when my husband traveled. Before my husband left, he warned, “Don’t let your father fiddle with our stuff. He tries to fix it all with Super Glue and Duct Tape.” “Sure. I’ll keep him … [Read more...]

Not Your Mother’s Book…On Travel Book Review

Hey, I'm in Not Your Mother's Book...On Travel.  This is my third book in the NYMB series.  I'm thrilled, elated, and bounce-off-the-wall excited to share the news with you!!  It's been a blast to be involved with terrific editors at Publishing Syndicate and meet great women like Dahlynn McKowen, CEO/publisher, and Terri Elders, co-creator. Nothing beats a good book at the beach. Grab a copy of Not Your Mother's Book...On Travel from Amazon by clicking the link, Amazon.com.You'll be glad you did. My friend, Julie Royce, wrote a wonderful book review on Wandering Educators this week. Here's an excerpt from Julie's article. Travel Book Review by Julie Royce The Perfect Book for … [Read more...]