It’s a Wonderful Kiosk Christmas

On the sixth day of Christmas, the mall gave to me, six angry sales teams, five new languages, four aroma pillows, three tubs of sea salt, two hair straighteners, and a partridge in a pear tree. As the refrain from “The Twelve Days of Christmas” echoes through my head, I wander the mall avoiding eye contact with kiosk employees. Who hasn’t been stopped midstream by perky cell phone employees begging, “try our service” or “switch today”? Who hasn’t had fragrant lotion squeezed onto their hands while taking cover from flying helicopters or tiny, motorized cars zipping around their feet? But while I tried to avoid their seduction, the magnetic attraction is too strong. Companies like … [Read more...]

Listen Up! I’m on the Feisty Side of Fifty Radio Show, Dec. 13 at 9:00 am

Check it out.  I am honored to have the opportunity to discuss Not Your Mother's Book...On Being a Woman on the Feisty Side of Fifty radio show. Mary Eileen Williams will broadcast the show on Blog Talk Radio, Thursday, Dec. 13 at 9:00am - 9:15am. We feisty gals love stories that are hip, modern, fun, and even daring… so look no further! Not Your Mother’s Book on Being a Woman is a new anthology for the new century. No sad or sappy stories here—these are wild and crazy tales of the joys and challenges of full-fledged womanhood. The publisher, Dahlynn McKowen, and contributing author, Stacey Gustafson, are joining us to share all about this bodacious book. You’ll want to be certain … [Read more...]

Kapow! The Sound of Models Falling Down on the Catwalk!

I can’t help it.  I enjoy watching models tumble on the catwalk.  It makes me smile.  After a Google search on “models falling” I discovered that 6,830,000 web sites agree with me.  We can’t get enough. I think the biggest reason I’m tickled pink when models fall is due to the haughty way they launch themselves down the runway.  It’s like they’re saying to the world, “Look at me, I’m tall and can walk in a straight line.” Congratulations, you strutted 28 feet! Take off those Jimmy Choo's And Gisele Bündchen, if you want our respect, take off those ridiculous Jimmy Choo’s!  Don’t you care that a generation of under 20-somethings will have a lifetime of bunions, arthritis, … [Read more...]

A Thanksgiving Day Plea On Behalf of Mom

Happy Thanksgiving Day!  By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee.  I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?”  Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.”  I have decided to take the day off. I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga.  Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already.  I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke.  Ha ha! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each … [Read more...]

Book Release of Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman

Thanks to my friends who came out to support me last night at Towne Center Books for the release of Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman.  I answered questions regarding being a columnist for the Pleasanton Patch, “Are You Kidding Me?” Also, I had the opportunity to read my article, “Hair Gone Wild,” regarding my high school obsession with the Farrah Fawcett hair cut.  Mary Eileen Williams from Lafayette had the crowd in stitches with her story “Stirred, Not Shaken” about her dressing-room experience realizing that being a sexy older woman is much better than being a teenager any day. Dahlynn McKowen, NYMB Series Creator, discussed the ways to become published in the books, with … [Read more...]

Hot Sicilian Causes Gallbladder Attack

My love for a hot Sicilian started off innocently enough.  But one thing led to another and a one-night stand became the beginning of a passionate affair.  What started as sweet desire ended in extraordinary pain.  I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how this happened to a happily married stay-at-home mom. Pursuing my dream of becoming a newspaper columnist, I sought an opportunity to see my name in print and signed up to be a cookbook critic.   Pizza cookbooks drew me into their pages, tantalizing me with cheesy delights. Slinging pizza dough high in the air, Chef Emeril Lagasse had nothing over me.  Homemade spicy marinara sauces simmered on the stovetop, crushed red pepper flakes … [Read more...]

Part 2: More Crap My Mom Has Sent

Readers said, “You left me hanging with your last story,” and “Tell me more about the stuff from your mom.” Here’s a follow-up story to last week’s blog. One thing I know for certain, a mother never runs out of hankies, advice or impractical gifts, more crap.  And my mother was no different.  She visited me in California a few weeks after we unpacked from our move.  Like a peregrine falcon, her eyes zoned in on the “To Be Identified Pile” in the corner of the kitchen counter. “What’s with all this junk?” she asked, picking up an item on the top. “Stuff you’ve sent me over the years,” I said, shaking my head. “No way.  Never seen it before,” she said without emotion and moved … [Read more...]

Author Book Signing Event at Towne Center Books

Nov. 13 at 7p.m. I am thrilled to be a contributor in a new book series, Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman. Towne Center Books is hosting the book-signing event on Tuesday, Nov. 13 at 7 p.m. My story “Hair Gone Wild” is one of the 64 stories found in the book.  Dahlynn McKowen, NYMB Series Creator, and Mary Eileen Williams, founder/host of the popular blog and radio show Feisty Side of Fifty, will be there as well to answer questions.  Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman is the first title in the series, with another 30-plus titles under development.  Submit your stories for consideration!  Guidelines can be found at www.PublishingSyndicate.com.  Get published!  For questions, … [Read more...]