5 Signs You’re a Writer Not Just a Hack

Do you have any of the 5 Signs You're a Writer? Then you may have what it takes to be the next J. K. Rowling, James Patterson, or Dave Barry. 24 Signs You're a Writer Signs You're a Writer Writers zone out in public and get accused of not paying attention. We’re called dreamers, quirky, compulsive, and creative. We collect words like churlish, debacle, and hootenanny in notebooks to be used at the next opportunity in a short story or novel. Writers discuss punctuation marks like Oxford commas, em dashes, and hyphens with unusual enthusiasm. Ever hear of the Sarcmark, question comma, or acclamation point? What are some obscure punctuation … [Read more...]

Erma Bombeck and Friends, You Inspired Me

We find inspiration in nature, yoga, TED Talks, pets, music, books, travel, and more. But for me, the greatest source of inspiration can be found at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, the only one dedicated to humor writing. It’s held every other year on the campus of the University of Dayton, fondly called the Dayton Riviera. We celebrate the spirit of Erma Bombeck, a suburban housewife, syndicated columnist and author of 15 books. Her sayings like, “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child,” touched the heart of America and covered their refrigerators. http://humorwriters.org The Presenters This year’s presenters included Liza Donnelly … [Read more...]

When Church People Knock

When you’re first married, on a typical weekend, you sleep until 10 a.m., wake up, make coffee, and go back to sleep. Imagine my surprise when my husband violated our ritual and decided to answer the door. When it comes to the doorbell, my husband’s like Pavlov’s dog. He can’t stand to ignore it. Ding dong. “Leave it,” I said, patting my hair. “They’ll go away. Besides, I’m not decent.” He rushed to the door, slid to a stop in stocking feet, and pulled it open, bare chest and all. Did you NOT hear a single word I said? Let me be more clear. If you answer the door, hell will rain down on you. I peeked around the corner, my slovenly appearance blocked by his body. Two unknown … [Read more...]

Get Your Funny On – Tommy T’s Fundraiser for Pleasanton Middle School

Come enjoy a night of laughter, “Get Your Funny On,” to benefit Pleasanton Middle School at Tommy T’s Comedy Club in Pleasanton on Tuesday, March 6 at 5104 Hopyard Rd. Doors open 6:30pm, show starts at 7:30pm. Tickets are $20.00 each or table of 8 for $120. Two item minimum purchase required. A silent auction will begin at 6:30 pm. Proceeds will benefit Pleasanton Middle School PTSA which provides funding for the school’s classrooms, library, wellness program, garden, student groups and school activities. Comedians performing will be local talent Regina Stoops, Tramane Webb and Stacey Gustafson. To buy tickets, https://www.panthersptsa.org/comedy/ The Comedians Regina Stoops was … [Read more...]

My Life’s Been Outsourced – Things I Can’t Do After 50

Over time, I realized things were changing, like my waistline and sleep cycle. In college, I could devour all the junk food I craved and then hangout with friends at a party until 4:00 am. No longer. Barely able to keep my eyes opened past ten, I take a Tums and call it a night. I contemplated my situation and realized that my life’s been outsourced. There’s a lot of things I can’t do after 50. Here’s my list in no particular order. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_PQoEABHlA See - Outsourced Somewhere between the ages 40 – 45, I lost the ability to see. Oh sure, I can see things in the distance, like a traffic light or a mother pushing her baby with a stroller, but it’s the close up … [Read more...]

Bad Mom: A Downsizing Christmas Story

Throughout the years, I’ve watched my parents’ attempts at downsizing Christmas. Fifty-two years ago, my mother festooned a real tree with sixty pounds of ornaments, tinsel, and twinkling lights plus adorned the inside of our house with 49 nutcrackers, 19 Santas, 9 hand-knitted stockings, 18 electric candles and an endless assortment of gaudy trinkets that sparkled, glowed or danced. My father controlled the outside with enough Christmas paraphernalia to shut down the entire block’s power grid. He blanketed the front of our place with lights; bubbled, frosted, tiny and otherwise. He randomly covered it all, from gutters and porch rails to bushes and trees. Like a t-shirt canon at the … [Read more...]

Tommy T’s Fundraiser for Sandra J. Wing Foundation

Laugh Out Loud for Rita Come enjoy a night of laughter to benefit Sandra J. Wing Healing Therapies at Tommy T’s Comedy Club in Pleasanton on October 24 at 5104 Hopyard Rd. Doors open at 6:30pm, show starts at 7:30pm. Tickets are $20.00 each or table of 8 for $120.00. Two item minimum purchase required. This fundraiser is in honor of Rita Da Costa, Sandra J. Wing Beneficiary, who passed away in 2015. Rita had a big, booming laugh and a constant smile on her face so what better way to celebrate her than to an evening of comedy. Comedians performing will be local funny ladies Regina Stoops, Stacey Gustafson, plus Mario Montes as MC. Their unique brand humor covers life in the suburbs … [Read more...]

Class Clown Versus Parent-Teacher Conference

Parent-teacher conferences are as unsettling as being attacked on a city street by a flock of geese overdosed on Ex-Lax. You hope you don’t get hit with something you weren’t expecting. When our son brought home a crumpled-up reminder note about his upcoming parent-teacher conference, my husband said to me, “Should we be concerned?” “Nah,” I said with a laugh. “We’ve got nothing to fear. Our little guy’s fun loving, smart, and inquisitive. He’s right on track.” I was certain his bubbly kindergarten teacher would load on the compliments with a flash of her professionally whitened teeth and say, “Your son is fabulous. A model student.” This will be a piece of cake. I prepared a … [Read more...]