Here’s a Quick Way to Catch a Raccoon

To catch a raccoon became my mission. Each night, it ambushed our lawn, flattened leafy plants and ripped the grass to shreds. Chunks of sod rolled over. At this rate, we’d be down to topsoil and tree roots by the end of the month. I called Carl’s Critter Control and explained our problem. Help was on the way. The next day, he examined our yard and said, “Yep, you got raccoons. Best to kill what they eat. I’ll treat for grubs.” Raccoon Escargot What the heck do they eat? Turns out cream colored coiled grubs and beetles burrowed in our lawn, the raccoon’s version of escargot. He injected the lawn with chemicals to kill the meal. For about two weeks, the treatment worked and we … [Read more...]

Oops! Video Camera Catches Neighbor in Stolen PJs

Last week, I received the following alert from Crime Prevention Unit of the Pleasanton Police Department, “FW: Press Release - Residential Burglary Suspect Arrested.” I thought, “Hot damn. I better get busy.” You see, I’m the neighborhood block caption. The SWAT team has personally thanked me for my hard work. That’s another story. Stolen PJs Anyway, a local woman was arrested on suspicion of stealing furniture, tools, and electronics from her neighbor, including pajamas. Based on the newspaper photo, I had a sneaky feeling we had met. I sent out a group email to my friends with the information. Here’s a copy of our email exchange--- To: Friends: Wanted you to be … [Read more...]

Stuff Your Kids Will Never Understand

Here’s a list of stuff your kids will never understand or use like the Polaroid camera, fax machines or shopping at Blockbuster Video Store. As technology develops at a breakneck speed, our past is being erased. This list may not be as important as the invention of the Internet, cell phones or electric cars but it’s part of our generation and worth reflection. Albums Ten years ago, my husband cleaned the basement and discovered his old record collection. He even located the turntable. My five year old picked up an album and said, “Dad, that’s the biggest CD I’ve ever seen!” Bye-bye eight track tapes, VHS, and tape cassettes. Top 10 Most Valuable Records … [Read more...]

What I Know To Increase Blog Traffic – Part 2

Learn more about ways to increase your blog traffic up to 400%. The following techniques are suitable for the advanced blogger. PR Checker PR Checker – This site checks page rank of your website pages instantly. It’s simple to run. You just submit the URL of your website and click “Check PR” button. Best of all, it’s free! Word Count Word Count – WordPress recommends 300 words maximum per blog. According to, “One of the most important concerns facing any blogger is SEO. All things being equal, Google tends to rank articles that hover around the 300-word mark higher than longer or shorter articles. For purposes of attracting the … [Read more...]

No Toilet Paper in the Ladies’ Room? Bring Your Own!

“What took you so long in the ladies' room? Anchorman 2 is about to start,” said my husband, flagging me towards theater five. Oh, he wants to know what took me so long? Can he handle the truth? “I’ll be right back. Gonna use the powder room. Wait here,” I said to my husband. I paused outside the bathroom door. Twenty women lined up like soldiers, purses holstered, feet tapping out an impatient beat. Memo to self, go before you leave home. Gals Go in Pairs For men who haven’t been paying attention, lines snake out the restroom, around the corner of the building, past the exit and through the parking lot. Gals go in pairs to have someone to wait it out with, like standing in line for … [Read more...]

Dear Santa Love Mom

Dear Santa, I’ve been a good mother and wife this year. I have processed more laundry than Hop Sing Laundromat and prepared more dishes than the Cheesecake Factory. I’ve watched 69 episodes of Duck Dynasty, blended 200 smoothies, ran 2,998 errands and schlepped a basketball team to 29 tournaments. I have only a few tiny requests. Very teeny requests actually. Let me explain. Do you mind asking my son to check his jean pockets before putting them in the dryer? Found to date: one dried garter snake, 15 lbs. of shredded paper and seven packs of gum. Could you send the refrigerator repairman a decent pair of pants? I was subjected to hairy butt crack on nine separate occasions. That's … [Read more...]

Teens Release Christmas CD to Help Red Rhino Orphanage

Every once in a while you hear a feel-good Christmas story and if you’re lucky, it’s about someone you know. I’m proud to introduce you to two sixteen-year-olds, Ryan Knop and Brock Gustafson, friends that are inspiring others to do the right thing. At Foothill High School, Ryan and Brock are spreading holiday cheer and raising awareness for The Red Rhino Orphanage Project by selling Christmas CDs. Together they wrote and produced the album, “A Ryan Knop Christmas.” The album has over 11 songs, featuring Ryan singing with Audrey Francisco, Elliot Momand, and JP Pasteur. This is their second Christmas album. After last year’s success, they decided to donate the profits to an … [Read more...]

High Pressure Christmas Kiosks Bring On Mall Madness

On the sixth day of Christmas, the mall gave to me, six angry sales teams, five new languages, four aroma pillows, three tubs of sea salt, two hair straighteners, and a partridge in a pear tree. As the refrain from “The Twelve Days of Christmas” echoes through my head, I wander the mall avoiding eye contact with Christmas kiosk employees. Who hasn’t been stopped midstream by perky cell phone employees begging, “try our service” or “switch today”? Who hasn’t had fragrant lotion squeezed onto their hands while taking cover from flying helicopters or tiny, motorized cars zipping around their feet? But while I tried to avoid their seduction, the magnetic attraction is too … [Read more...]