Christmas Karma and the Toilet Paper Trail

All I know is karma’s a bitch. And never cop an attitude with an usher when you’re dragging a toilet paper trail. Last year, my mother braved Midwest blizzards, traffic and the airport to visit my family of four for Christmas in California. Our fun-filled week consisted of spiked eggnog, story telling, old movies and the mandatory trip to San Francisco. A commercial break during “A Christmas Story” advertised Riverdance, the popular Irish stepdancing group. Redheaded lads and lassies clicked across the stage. “Forget about seeing the Christmas Carol or the Nutcracker, can we see Riverdance?” asked my mom. I wanted to make her visit as memorable as possible and sprung for the good … [Read more...]

Going Commando at the Work Holiday Party?

Let’s face it. Ladies undergarments were not designed with comfort in mind. Not much has changed since the invention of the corset that was meant to give a woman an 18-inch waist. But the undergarment I am going to rant about is Spanx or shape wear, like the old fashioned girdle. They tout the motto, “No matter the occasion or season, we’ve got a shape to keep you looking great from all angles!” But at what price? I heard of a case where the mother of the bride was stuck inside a full body Spanx for five hours. If Spanx’s motto is, “Spanx is here on your big day,” where were they? It slims and lifts, but is it worth it? Holiday Party My big moment came to prove the claims made … [Read more...]

Mom’s Thanksgiving Day Plea

Happy Thanksgiving Day!  By now, like Sleeping Beauty, my family is waking from a deep slumber, wiping the crust from their eyes as they stumble into the kitchen in search of coffee.  I bet it’s about 10:00 a.m. and they’re starting to wonder, “Where’s Mom?”  Well, surprise, I have three words, “At the movies.”  I have decided to take the day off. I’m exhausted by the thought of another Thanksgiving Day, spent in the scullery, sweating it out like Bikram Yoga.  Enough with hot ovens, boiling pots and disgusting turkey giblets already.  I’m Getting My Movie On, sitting in a comfy chair, hogging a whole box of popcorn and a large Diet Coke.  Ha ha! Now don’t get me wrong, I love each and … [Read more...]

Local Authors Book Signing Event at Bay Books

What happens when four funny East Bay gals hold a book signing event? A big crowd laughed their way through the evening on Thursday, November 14 at Bay Books in San Ramon. Stories, snacks and prizes galore! We each read excerpts from our stories in the latest Not Your Mother's Book...On Home Improvement and On Being a Parent. On Home Improvement Here's a little bit from my story, "He Who Kills Weeds." “If you’re interested in keeping this job you cannot speak to my husband,” I said to Francisco, the new lawn service guy.  “If he asks you any questions, you must say, ‘No hablo ingles.’  Deal?” “No problem.  But why?” he asked, scrunching his eyebrows. “Do you have a minute?” I … [Read more...]

Is There Life After Orthotics?

In my forties, I could finally afford to purchase the expensive footwear I had always envied: classic Dior black pumps, Coach tennis shoes and jeweled strappy sandals. But nowadays, comfort overrules my desire to be a fashion plate and one pair of low-heeled pumps, white sneakers and flats gets me from church to the gym. Recently, when it was time to replace my favorite footwear, I called on Sandra, my shopping buddy. “Wanna go to the mall?” “Sure,” she said. “See you in fifteen.” Sandra waved me over as I entered Mega Mall and grabbed me in an embrace. Staring down at my worn out tennis shoes with scuffed soles and frayed laces, she said, “Finally decided to break down and invest … [Read more...]

What I Know to Increase Blog Traffic

  What do I know to increase blog traffic? Enough to help you stop wasting time and get on with the business of promoting your blog! My blog has been up for only ten months but my traffic has increased over 400% by following the rules below. Part 1 Focus Keyword – Pick a focus word or phrase that best represents your story. Put the focus word in the title of your article. Copy your focus word into the focus keyword section of the WordPress SEO exactly as you have it in the title. Then use the focus word or phrase in the first sentence, last sentence and several times in the story. For example, my focus keyword for this article is “increase blog traffic.” Hash Tags – Use … [Read more...]

Who Cares What It Costs? It’s Good for the Environment!

Seems like these days you can get by with doing anything just by saying, “It’s good for the environment!” Go ahead! Eat it! Drive it! Wear it! As long as it’s good for the environment, you can afford to be wasteful. 1. It’s Organic! Don’t worry if you need a second mortgage to shop at Whole Foods. It must be worth it since it’s organic. Don’t bother bringing your own shopping bags. All the food will fit in the tiny, plastic bag still offered for free in the produce section. Your family of four can eat for $89.99 per day, a bargain. Go ahead and spend your whole paycheck! It's good for the … [Read more...]

East Bay Book Signing Event – Bay Books 11/14

Join Local Authors Stacey Gustafson, Camille DeFer Thompson, Julie Royce and Tracy Winslow Bay Books 2415 San Ramon Valley Blvd. San Ramon, CA Wednesday, November 14 7:00 pm We look forward to seeing you at the event. In addition, we got a mention on Not Your Mother's Books WOW Principles e-newsletter about our book signing. Check it out. Great Ideas from Your Fellow Writers! As promised in last month’s newsletter, we are going to share what NYMB contributors Stacey Gustafson, Camille DeFer Thompson, Risa Nye and Tracy Winslow are planning for their San Francisco Bay Area NYMB...On Home Improvement book signing. First off, contributor Julie Royce has joined the four, and the group … [Read more...]