Actual Amazon Reviews for Ninja Grappling Hook Will Blow Your Mind

Amazon reviews are an opportunity to express yourself and provide honest and strange insight on the most unusual items. Ever heard of a Ninja Grappling Hook? Check out my personal selection of the “most helpful customer reviews” for the Ninja Grappling Hook. What's a grappling hook you ask? It's a scary pointy hook attached to a long nylon rope used to help you grapple out from a tight spot of course. The Actual Amazon Reviews will blow your mind. You’ll want to read to the end.   Actual Amazon Reviews for Ninja Grappling Hook Will Blow Your Mind Pretty good 4.0 out of 5 stars I must admit, I had pretty high expectations for these. I *stupidly* … [Read more...]

Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s In College

Now that my youngest child is off to college, my friends asked, "What's the stuff mom won't miss when kid's in college?" You won't believe how much free time you will have. You may wonder how a grown kid (an adult, so he claimed) required so much time. And if you’re a mom with a kid or two in school, I bet you know the answer. There's just a lot of stuff Mom won't miss! Stuff Mom Won’t Miss When Kid’s in College School Drop Off – I have two kids. That means I’ve dropped kids off at school for over 13 years, with a slight break when a kid turned 16. For God’s sake, administrators, get it together. Go out there with a sign and tell those parents to pull forward! Their lazy kids can walk a … [Read more...]

11 Things I Think About At the Grocery Store During the Holidays

I bet you'd be appalled if you knew what things I think about at the grocery store during the holidays. My mind is going as fast as a teenage girl texting her BFF once I enter the supermarket. Here's a sneak peek at the things I think about at the grocery story during the holidays: 11 Things I Think About at the Grocery Store During the Holidays 1. Will I be arrested if I knock down that elderly lady in the deli line because she asks too many questions? My company arrives in ten minutes. 2. How many days until New Year’s Eve? Gluten Intolerant? 3. What hell do I serve guests that claim to be vegan, gluten intolerant, pescetarian, raw foodist, semi-vegetarian, lacto-vegetarian, … [Read more...]

13 Reasons My Husband’s Cheaper Than the Dog

My husband munched on a carrot stick and glanced over at Stanley, our 9 year-old cock-a-chon. “Man, that dog has the life,” he said. “Look at him devouring that Pup-Peroni. How much do those treats cost anyway?” he said, raising his voice. “Ah, don’t worry about it. They’re not too expensive,” I said, causing a distraction by tossing him a Snickers bar. “And besides, he loves it.” Reasons My Husband's Cheaper Than the Dog My husband had a point. Once you added it all up, our dog’s grooming habits cost easily five times more than his. Heck, the dog’s tooth cleaning alone cost $350. Since my husband rarely went to the doctor, had no know allergies and trimmed … [Read more...]

10 Things I Hate About France

Vacationing in France with our college kids was a chance of a lifetime but not without a few complaints. Granted, the museums are unmatched, cheese simply delicious and great wine is served everywhere, but still, I missed some things about America, especially my big, tall Starbucks to-go cup. Needless to say, I discovered at least “10 Things I Hate About France” and wanted to share it with you. Bathrooms – Public bathrooms in the City of Lights are as scarce as water in California. Men and women use the same bathroom and that’s yucky. I actually waited in line for a unisex stall when a man came in and unzipped his pants. And squat toilets? No think you! My thighs are not firm … [Read more...]

10 Things I Love About France

Our family embarked on a late summer vacation before the kiddos went off to college. Paris and the surrounding countryside beckoned. We enjoyed relaxing over leisurely meals undisturbed by our iPhones and California lifestyle. I discovered at least “10 Things I Love About France” and wanted to share it with you. Coffee and Chocolate Croissants – The French serve the most scrumptious, simple breakfast. Try sipping on hot, slightly bitter coffee with buttery, warm chocolate croissants as you people watch at the crossroads of contemporary culture. It’s an exquisite experience. Clothes – The French definitely dress better. They keep it simple by wearing a neutral palette of gray, black, … [Read more...]

14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise

I’ve got a million excuses why I cannot exercise but only 14 are actually legitimate. I wake up each day with good intentions but can’t seem to get off my butt and go to the gym. 14 Excuses Why I Cannot Exercise I cannot exercise after I’ve taken off my bra. By 7 PM, I’ve lost all motivation to leave the house. The bra is off and I’ve slipped into sweatpants. What’s the point of exercising now? I’d have to shower again. It’s a whole thing. I cannot exercise on Monday because it’s the start of the week. I have go grocery shopping, drop off laundry, pay bills, vacuum, check Facebook, read email and start dinner. I cannot exercise before 8:30 AM. I need to eat breakfast each … [Read more...]

Open Letter to My Lawn Service Guys

Dear Three Men and a Mower, I’m the house on the corner of Parched St. and Desert Dr. Just wondering lawn service guys, why do you keep mowing our lawn? In case you haven’t noticed, California is experiencing its fourth year of a severe drought. Last year was devastating. This year’s been worse. Weather reports are actually tracking rainfall by the 1/100ths of an inch. Watch the news if you’re not familiar with the trickle of rainfall we’re getting. California Drought California’s been in a State of Emergency since January. Citizens have ripped out their lawns, junked inefficient toilets and filled in their pools. Neighbors rats out other neighbors using too … [Read more...]